By Nancy Virden (c)2026 AlwaysTheFight.com

I am attending Intensive Outpatient Group Therapy (IOP) beginning this week. On the first day, we discussed grieving and its many phases. Grief does not show up as merely anger or bargaining. It is never only a few steps to acceptance, and then it’s over. No, grief is multifaceted. Different people experience it in a variety of ways; it is as complex as we are.

Grief does not likely pass in a moment. How we grieve does not define how much we care. Some people shed tears while others punch walls. A few of us are stoic, and even a few may show relief that a loved one’s pain is over. There is no wrong way to grieve as long as we are not hurting ourselves or others.

When overwhelming grief lingers, interfering with one’s ability to go to work, relate to others, or enjoy aspects of life, it may turn into depression. If that is the case, help is needed to manage those strong emotions. Grief can tie us up in knots when distress in the relationship has gone unresolved. Help for this is also beneficial.

For the disciple of Jesus, our hope does not end on earth. We have more to grasp. In IOP, we were asked to write a letter to someone or something we have lost. I wrote to my dad, who passed away at Christmas 2015.

“Dear Dad, I would like to grieve your death, but cannot. Instead, I grieve the loss of hope that we could develop a mutually loving and supportive relationship. You were cruel. You destroyed my ability to love who I am without self-doubt. You stole from me my right to a safe childhood. You almost destroyed my soul. But in the very end, you did not defeat the love of God. His mercy met you and overcame your sins. One day, I will share heaven with you, and joy will be ours. Nancy

Grief. It can look very different from person to person. In Jesus, it looks like forgiveness and hope.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

2 Peter 3:9c

The Lord… does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.

If you are feeling suicidal or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S., call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room; in the EU, call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here.) Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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