By Nancy Virden (c)2026 AlwaysTheFight.com

I turn the big 65 this week. Someone once called age 64 “elderly”. Yikes, then what am I? I do not look or feel elderly. My body has endured difficult and rare diseases, physical trauma, and the aging effects of depression. Arthritis and osteoporosis are knocking on my door. My natural hair color is white. So what? I’m still not elderly.

I must admit age changes things. Socially, emotionally, circumstantially, and more. Younger me foresaw some of these, yet not most.

Proverbs 31 describes what sounds like the perfect wife if all circumstances played out that way. However, they do not, and this poem by a king leaves some modern women wondering how they are supposed to measure up. We can’t, and are not meant to. We do not live in a king’s palace in ancient times. This is how my life has played out in light of the Proverbs woman.

She finds wool and flax and busily spins it.

Younger me: Does seamstressing count the same? Making my own clothes and working in fabric stores were hobbies and joys back when saving money meant sewing. I saved us a lot of money.

Now: I order online and buy clothes I couldn’t make for the same price because fabric costs have skyrocketed.

She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar.

Well, I don’t know about a merchant ship, but I drove cars as big as boats. Remember Caprice? LTD? Lugging around a baby and a toddler, car seats had to be buckled, unbuckled, children placed in the cart, try not to smother the toddler with the groceries, empty the cart, load the cart, load the children, load the groceries. Whew! That was only one store because prices were better on some items elsewhere. And away we went.

Now: I punch in some items online and watch the delivery show up at my door.

She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

Younger me: Ummm, no dawn-waking, and no servant girls.

Now: The same. Next…

She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings, she plants a vineyard.

Younger me: I’m a country girl, so I gardened in the middle of the city, using my front yard for corn and my porch for tomatoes. Most often, my garden was in the backyard like normal people.

Now: There is no more gardening, partly because I do not own the yard where I live, and more accurately, I do not want to garden! (Even though the vegetables from the store are almost flavorless compared to the fresh produce we grew when I was a child.)

She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night.

Younger me: My dealings were as a volunteer, profitable in ways other than money, and in the lives of people, mostly children. Volunteering was often energetic and hard. My lamp burned late at night so I could watch TV while the family slept. Whaaat? Not the same thing?

Now: It is still volunteerism that has my heart and time. I no longer watch TV and haven’t for years. My lamp burns late at night due to a sleep disorder. Yawn.

Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes.

Younger me: I’ve had opportunities to make clothes for other people, along with church banners and costumes. My favorite job was as a seamstress in a costume shop.

Now: There is no sewing because I do not have a working machine. Hand sewing is shaky, literally.

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness… Her children stand and bless her.

Younger me: St. Paul said it well, “When I was a child, I thought like a child, I spoke like a child, but once I became a man, I put away childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:8). I would like to think that I, too, have put away childish behaviors and thinking patterns. Truth is, we are all affected by childhood beliefs until we work to grow beyond them.

Now: I’m not without anxiety; however, I can most of the time laugh at the future without fear. That is because I worship a big God who has my destiny under control. Little, petty things like “will I be late?” or “I hope I do not say anything stupid” are where anxiety mostly lies. The big stuff, like death, for example, I am not afraid. Still, bipolar depression seems to come with a boatload of anxiety.

There is nothing quite as restful and peaceful as when my adult children are proud of me or reach out to say they love me. They tease, too, and that is its own kind of fun.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

Younger me: Superficiality has always seemed a bit ridiculous; nonetheless, I worried as a young woman whether I looked okay to others. Depression raises my insecurities.

Now: I know that charm can hide all types of problems that will eventually show. The fading of youth and beauty is not to be feared. Why? Because we are not objects created as eye candy for anyone else. Once we have established that God is love and he created us personally for his purposes, we can find joy in who we are. It is when we begin to question that fact that we begin to doubt ourselves and even our right to be here.

65. With wisdom from practice and life lessons, I still want to share the Truth with the world for as long as I have to be here.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Proverbs 20:29

The glory of the young is their strength; the gray hair of experience is the splendor of the old.

If you are feeling suicidal or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S., call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room; in the EU, call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here.) Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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