All I wanted – to hide and pretend the world didn’t exist

Always the Fight Ministries: Displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse. (c)2019 Nancy Virden

Earlier this evening, in a rush to get home, I drove as carefully as possible. That 20-minute drive seemed endless. All I wanted was to throw covers over my head and pretend the world didn’t exist. Sound familiar?

From minor confrontations to imaginary scenarios to real-life tragedies, our perceptions can change. This is true for anyone. Perceptions (beliefs) tend to guide moods.

My day began with an upset over a dream about failure, continued on to worry over whether my advice actually helped a friend’s friend, and on to disappointment over an unanswered text to my son. As each event occurred, my perceptions, set-up by negative interpretive thoughts about the dream, fed anxiety and self-doubt.

Then there it was – a minor confrontation (so minor the other persons involved probably have no idea it happened) triggered fear. Suddenly I wanted to hide, see and know no one, and yes, lock the world out.

Due to careful therapy a few years ago, I know to look behind disturbing moods and see why they showed up. None of our moods may be as sudden or without explanation as they seem.

If you feel overwhelmed and want to escape or hide, take a few minutes to travel back over your thoughts and perceptions recently. Do you see what led up to an inability to cope?

This mini-anxiety attack was no exception. Insecurities had built up all day. By the time I was where the minor confrontation took place, I already believed I would come across as a bother.

Dang it! I try not to cuss anymore, but this makes me want to! An inner voice used to tell me 100% of the time for years that whatever I did, said, or thought was wrong. That old lyin’ voice was extinguished by the truth several years ago. Peace is now a regular companion. Obsessions over whether anyone will accept me are gone.

This loss of confidence is an old battle I’ve no desire to fight again. Those weapons are not dusty, though. They are polished and ready. Quite simply, I know how to challenge and defeat false negative thoughts, and the means to do so are right here.

You can read about some of them in “Gain and Maintain a Mindset of Hope.”  The most valuable defense is knowing and trusting what God has to say.  He says he never changes and he is our refuge and hiding place. He says that nothing can separate those who trust in him from his love. Nothing.

Today’s Helpful Word

Taken from Romans 12:2

“…let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.

NOTE: I am not a doctor or mental health professional, and speak only from personal experiences and observations. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.
If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or for a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.
If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. (for international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!


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