Tough Life? 3 Steps to Losing a Victim Mindset – Part Three

Always the Fight Ministries: Displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse. (c)2019Nancy Virden

Keep time where it belongs   

One day last week I was stressing because there were more than usual the number of appointments to keep and hardly any downtime.  Problem is, anxiety was creeping in before any of it happened. Then this thought crossed my mind. I do not have to handle the whole day right now.

With that, I asked God to help me deal with each of the coming steps and concentrated only on what was in front of me. What a relief! 

It is not only the day’s challenges we try to carry though, is it? Many of us bog ourselves down with memories and emotions from the past. The future too is a wonder as we take on baggage that has not yet been created. 

Truth is,  most decisions do not have to be made immediately.  Since the past is unchangeable, it is okay to breathe at this moment.     

Former victims may continue to want unfinished business resolved. We want the victim-makers to own up to their wrong. Specifically, we think we need to hear it and to see for ourselves that they fully understand the damage they did. 

If you read part one of this mini-series, you may recall what type of people are victim-makers. They are never likely to come to their senses and suddenly get it. What if your abuser does not care? You still have the power to move on.

Build a new today.  Start with a fresh support system. Leaving victim-makers and victimhood behind, take your time in a less familiar circle and wait for healthy-minded people to pursue you.  Observe.  Let potential friends prove a good fit before signing up as besties or romance interests.

Decorate your today. Perhaps a paint job or remodel will be enough to re-create pleasure in an old space that holds not-so-great memories.  Maybe moving to a new community or school is the fresh start you need. Changing the furniture around can reset an atmosphere.

Work in your today.  Past efforts may not play such an influential role now. Counting chickens before their mothers are even hatched is what worry for the future is about. Let them both go. Do your best today.

Keep time where it belongs. You do not have to handle your whole life right now. 

Today’s Helpful Word

Jeremiah 29:11-13

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”


NOTE:  I am not a doctor or mental health professional, and speak only from personal experiences and observations. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or for a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. (for international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!





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