“I Don’t Sleep Because I Don’t Want Tomorrow to Come.” 2 Great Suggestions

Always the Fight Ministries: Displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse. (c)2019 Nancy Virden

Bed

Tonight, I publicly confessed that my lack of sleep is an attitude, a thought process, and not a medical issue. I told this to a group of about ten people from my church because I knew they would pray for me.

At some point in childhood, sleeping became equated with dread. I reasoned that if I stayed awake at night the next day would not come, or at least not so fast. Yet why does it still have a hold on me? I am in my late fifties and experience joy every day. 

 As many causes as people

After doing a search on the internet, I found several people who can relate. They mentioned a variety of reasons for the problem from general anxiety to fear of failure to not wanting the day to end!  

~bexadcox77 pointed out a possible cause and solution in one: It’s hard to view ‘tomorrow’ as a bright new day if you’re dealing with yesterday’s [problems]…

~surpriseDRE had a clinical reason: I used to do this. Heavily. For me, it was because I was very depressed, and I couldn’t stand the idea of another day. *

Or maybe it’s something else

After reading and praying, this problem seems simpler. We develop thought habits whether they be negative or positive, fearful or comforting. By embracing the idea (with awareness or not) that “next days” are dread-worthy, my nights and bedtime remain a challenge. Sheer willpower does not change this very much.

Such unwanted thoughts must be proactively replaced. I am going to attack this old habit with some great advice from social media users: 

~Cleverusername531 says to plan joy: … Another thing is I find something I am looking forward to the next day. If I don’t have anything, I try to create something. Is there someone you can interact with tomorrow whose company you enjoy? Is there a particular path you can walk on, can you take a break to listen to music or a podcast?

~bexadcox77 suggests routines that include happiness:  All I can say is that I think you will be okay and this will pass as you figure out how to cope with the weirdness of life being somewhat out of your control. You establish routines and fit in stuff that you love to do so you always have that to look forward to.

 My friends did pray for me. I believe insight is coming to me tonight because God heard our prayers an hour ago. Planning joy? What a thought!

Today’s Helpful Word

Matthew 6:34 NLT

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”

*** COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME
NOTE: I am not a doctor or mental health professional, and speak only from personal experiences and observations. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.
If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or for a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.
If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. (for international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours! 

*surpriseDRE said more about clinical treatment for anyone with severe depression. “Psychiatric care (via medication and cognitive behavioral therapy) was what made the difference for me. Without it I don’t think I would still be alive, but it really, really works. It took me trying 9 different antidepressants to find something that worked for me. It’s not always a quick path but it’s so worth it.”

13 comments

  • I have been struggling with this problem too. I hanvt been truly happy in over a year. A year ago around march was some of the best months ive ever experienced in my life, i mean everything was great. Things started getting worse after school started ( I am a freshman in highschool). After things were bad for a while i started thinking that maybe all i need is for it to be march again and life will just get better. Today is April 25th and still things just keep getting worse. I think a lot of my sadness or lack of happiness was a result of my confidence rapidly decreasing. I cut my hair in November and ever since then ive had no confidence. I mean anyone who knows me has got to notice it. Even i do, with just day to day tasks, ill get into this later. I also tend to struggle with very bad acne year round but gets very bad in winter dry months, so along with my hair i struggled with acne. I am also in a toxic relationship that 100% contributes to how ive been feeling, i mean its just constant arguing. No matter how bad it gets i just cant bring myself to leave it. I am the kind of person who gets attached to anything so incredibly easily, again i dont know why. I mean its to the point where i hate looking at myself in mirrors. The only time i look at myself is when i try to make myself look nice in-between every period at school, just to still feel so bad about myself. I have lost all motivation to do anything mostly in school and slowly in sports too. I was never the kid who loved school but i also never had such strong hatred against it like this year. I went from being an all As and Bs student to be pretty satisficed with a C. I dont go to the gym as much as i used to. Ive been thinking about quitting my (main) sport, and just have little to no drive in even things i do enjoy. I hate waking up in the mornings because i live the exact same day everyday, i know exactly whats going to happen. Im going to wake up get yelled at because i can never wake up on time in the morning, rush to get ready for school in 20 mins tops, showing up to school exhausted being that i was sleeping peacefully all but 30 minutes ago, spend the rest of my day in classes with no social life like i used to have, sitting at my desk having to use all of my might just to fight falling asleep. wishing i could just go home knowing im not going to do anything, then wasting my whole night avoiding home work that desperately needs done, by my failing or almost failing grades, then staying up telling myself i deserve to have time to do something i actually enjoy knowing that i just waisted my whole day. Then laying in bed wishing i didnt have to wake up to live the same exact day again.

    Like

    • Malachi, you have been so open and honest here! Thank you for telling me all this. You have some strong emotions right now, and it sounds like you are doing your best to deal with difficult circumstances. Those things you may see as negative about yourself are temporary. You will grow out of acne, your hair will grow back if you want, and you can get out of the toxic relationship. You deserve to find friends who accept you for you! I used to get up late for High School- every day and was yelled at too. But that time period passed. I know you can ride this out by looking for ways to find joy, reading blogs like this one, and taking what you learn to heart. As for your low mood, I am concerned that you are trying to handle it alone. That has never worked for me (or anyone else I know). We all need people; sometimes we need experts who really know how to help us. Does your school have a counselor? Please tell an adult who is near you what you are feeling. If they do not listen, tell another. And another. Perhaps you could talk to your parents. Some churches welcome new young people and a pastor or youth leader will hear you out. You may want to find a therapist for awhile. You have a full life to live and I KNOW you will find purpose and self-worth again. This is a Christian blog and I highly recommend that people turn to Jesus Christ. If you ever think about ending your life, please call 988. Check out my reference page here: https://alwaysthefight.com/here-is-help/if-you-are-depressed-or-anxious/ . Malachi, I hear your pain and want so much for you to find the joy I have found after years of negative thoughts. Feel free to write back anytime.

      Like

  • I have suffered like this for years. I fight hard to stay awake until I’m physically drained. Often I only sleep 3 hours a night. I know sleeping would help me be more rational, however I just don’t want another day to start.

    I know the solution is to remove the stress from my life and talk. However I don’t have the possibility to do either of those. So really I just want to share my thoughts.

    Like

    • Hello, I was out of town and without internet access for most of the last 7 days. I do however appreciate your comment. You are right that once we get on the path to de-stressing, we do sleep better and life becomes more manageable. There are people to talk to. Warmlines are free and available for those who only need someone to talk with. It is not therapy, but very nice phone calls. (Go to my “Help is Here” pages and find some or do a search.) Support groups, if you can get to one are also accepting. There are prayer lines, and chat lines and next door neighbors, churches and visiting ministries. Without knowing your situation, I encourage you to reach out best you can. Blessings.

      Like

      • Thank you for your post it was comforting to know that I am not alone. It’s past midnight here in Australia and I am once again procrastinating going to bed. Most nights I won’t be asleep until 2am. I just don’t want the day to end and next day to start. I think it’s because I have a feeling of failure, because I haven’t achieved what I want to do for the day, and I self sabotage the next. I get up late because I didn’t go to bed until late, the cycle starts again. Being a shift worker doesn’t help. The fruits of the spirit- the one about self control, well I fail miserably. I have done CBT + on medication, it’s all very helpful, but I still hang onto to bedtime anxiety and procrastination. I know I have to hand it over to God, I like your 3 P approach. Thank you.

        Liked by 1 person

  • I have been having issues with sleeping for years know, after searching on the internet this was the first article I found on my specific reason for not sleeping. My problem is that I have no idea what causes my mindset… any ideas on how to find out what the cause is?

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    • Hi Julie, good question! For me, the three Ps work: Prayer, Professionals, and Personal introspection. God promises to answer those who sincerely want his wisdom. As a follower of Christ, I ask what is my next step. Sometimes that answer is to see a professional. Most therapists have a knack for unearthing mindsets. Asking yourself tough questions may bring some mindset issues into awareness. For me, that has worked best under prayer and professional insights.

      Like

  • I don’t want to go to sleep because I don’t want tomorrow to come. This is me for a weeks now. Found this post very helpful… God taught me last year to “choose joy” and I believe He is still teaching me the same lesson until now. It will never be easy. Quite challenging. Not easy to force your brain to thinking proactively.

    Liked by 1 person

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