By Nancy Virden (c)2023
There’s a little guy sharing my living space – my roommate’s 3-year-old grandson. He goes through phases of experimenting with one manner of getting his way or another. A few months ago he tried screaming. Thankfully, that ended in the early autumn. The temper-tantrum phase is not quite gone, and he has recently picked up a new tactic- whining.
Often I go to my room or office and shut the door while his mother and grandmother teach him the fruitlessness of whine. Basically, they ignore him, and try to reinforce his use of honest requests and “please” and “thank you.” This is but a temporary bump that will soon be a memory like his screaming days.
Meanwhile, he sometimes sounds like a dying cat.
I dislike whining.
My roommate and I were discussing earlier today how aggravating it is when people do not do for themselves what they can do, and instead expect others to rescue them repeatedly. Bellyaching and perhaps manipulating the emotions of others to get out of doing the work they are responsible to do for themselves, they lack personal fortitude. Unfortunately, I recognize this trait to a small degree in my old self. It is a phase that passed, thank God, albeit later than for many.
There are issues of various kinds that interfere with a person becoming the best grown-up version of self. After all, we only know what we know. Some childhood and traumatic events specifically target one’s ability to mature. Chaotic and dysfunctional environments do not model or teach well the nuances of meeting one’s own needs. An individual’s style of learning may not have been met by distracted or ill-prepared parents. The list goes on.
I am grateful that the little guy in my home is surrounded by functioning adults who care about him enough to not reward whining. He will be okay, and so will we all, when we listen to the advice of wise counselors and teachers. Whining does not teach us anything except how to remain disappointed. It is fruitless.
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You for teaching us how to grow up. Please see whatever way is immature in me and lead me to the path of understanding. Amen.
Today’s Helpful Word
The Purpose of the Book Of Proverbs
“These are the proverbs of Solomon, David’s son, king of Israel. Their purpose is to teach people wisdom and discipline, to help them understand the insights of the wise. Their purpose is to teach people to live disciplined and successful lives, and to help them do what is right, just, and fair. …”
If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, or for a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.
If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. In the EU call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!
Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional, and speaks only from personal experience and observations. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.
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