By Nancy Virden (c)2021

Strapped with recycling debt, my concern was for leaving it to my sons if something should happen to me. Last spring, a plumbing issue added $13,000 to the current debt. That is when I started to seriously reconsider owning my home.

Eventually, the idea of being out of debt surpassed the value of homeownership in practicality. As a result, I am selling my house and almost everything in it and boarding elsewhere until I can get back on my feet financially. Following months and weeks of indecision and anxiety, the now foreseeable hope of closing the debts is worth all the trouble and sacrifice.

Like all change, the strategies described in the first 6 parts of this series: knowing what hope is; believing for and allowing hope; acting opposite of our emotions by reaching out for support; facing our emotions; acting on our values; and learning to speak the language of hope, are never easy at first. They are doable. From the bottom of the pit, all look doubtful at best. They are possible.

Buying into hope

A merchant looks to buy fine pearls. When he finds one of enormous worth, he sells all he has and buys it. Jesus told this parable and was speaking about the discovery of spiritual riches in the Gospel, of which hope is part. Put into the context of buying into hope, think about someone, maybe yourself, who has worked hard at triumphing over emotional pain. Hope is slipping away fast these days, and the question of “why try?” pops into the equation.  

Will the person you are thinking about choose to invest in mental health or continue down the path of despair repeating those efforts that never worked? Figuratively, while majorly depressed nearly eleven years ago, I chose to sell everything I had and buy what was of greater value. This involved actual money (therapy, doctors, medications), and exchanging (selling) old false beliefs and ambitions for new thought processes and truth. My biggest leap toward hope was making a deliberate decision to discover what enjoying life means. 

In our darkest periods, we can choose to hope for hope or refuse it. Then we are back to our values: What kind of person do I want to be?; What kind of life do I want to live?; How can I start today?

Imperfectly trusting the hope of other people gave me a more stable undergirding until I found it for myself. Now I offer my hope for you as a lifeline if you need to reach for it. -COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Matthew 13: 45-46

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.” -Jesus

Psalm 36:6-8

 Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, your justice like the great deep. You, Lord, preserve both people and animals. How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights. -A song by David to God

If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or for a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. In the EU call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional, and speaks only from personal experience and observations. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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