By Nancy Virden (c)2026 AlwaysTheFight.com

Too often, the concept of “self-care” is used as an excuse to reward oneself in unhealthy ways. A 400-pound man decides he deserves a treat and buys a gallon of ice cream. A lonely elderly woman calls 911 for an ambulance, but is not injured or ill. An entitled daughter says, “I don’t care if my family doesn’t like it; I’m going to say what I feel, anyway.” An able-bodied and psychologically-abled man quits working and lives off his family members. A woman buys herself gifts above her ability to afford. Are these examples of self-care?

We are each responsible for making sure our own needs are met. That does not mean we have all the answers; nonetheless, we can find solutions amid the myriad resources available. Self-care is focusing on what benefits you. It includes rest, nutrition, clothes, safety, and shelter.

Self-care is meeting your emotional needs, too. NAMI, SAMHSA (Google them), and the blogs and resource pages of this website are strong places to begin. Warmlines, senior connect lines, and 988 offer safe places to discuss your emotional needs and what you can do next to help yourself.

Attending church is a healthy step toward belonging to a community. MeetUp can help you join people with similar interests. Senior centers offer activities and often transportation. Gyms and recreation centers hold classes. No one will rescue you from your home and force friendship on you; you must take the first steps.

Ice cream is not the best reward for an obese person. It feels like a momentary reward, but it worsens an essential problem. Self-care is learning to make healthier choices and being proud of them.

Loneliness is temporarily assuaged by ambulance drivers or hospital personnel; however, those are not solutions.

Having one’s say regardless of the listener’s ability to “hear” or without concern for courtesy drives people away from the opinionated speaker or attracts not-so-healthy followers. That is also not self-care.

Refusing to work when one can (I’m not speaking of difficulty finding a job) is an example of taking advantage of others. There cannot be pride in one’s achievement in that lifestyle.

Shopping oneself into an overwhelming debt is not self-care because it adds worry and financial pressure later.

Self-care is being the best you can be, taking breaks, treating your body with kindness, and finding ways to relax and enjoy who you are. Self-care does not have negative consequences. Mental health days are a legitimate means of self-care, as are vacations. Pacing oneself and drawing boundaries are also forms of self-care.

The best (and probably only) means of wisdom regarding self-care that works for me is found in the development of my faith. Surrendering to God and obeying His leading never results in overwork, overwhelm, or overstepping my limits. He is the Good Shepherd, and this sheep is rewarded in His process.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
   he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

If you are feeling suicidal or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S., call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room; in the EU, call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here.) Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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