Tough Life? 3 Steps to Losing a Victim Mindset – Part One

Always the Fight Ministries: Displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse. (c)2019Nancy Virden

Recognize your situation in its entirety 

Victimization can take as many forms as there are victims. New victims are made each day.  What or who victimized you? How did they do so? 

People can accidentally victimize others. I think of car crashes that result in injury or death. There are victims, yet there may not always be a source to blame. Words may cause deep harm while a speaker is clueless of the danger. For example, a joke may seem innocent while it stabs a listener’s heart. 

We are aware that some victims are made to be such by the abusive and even criminal actions of others.  What I want to make clear is that no matter the intentions of the one who caused you harm, your pain is legitimate. Naturally, some things in life hurt and we feel that. 

Nonetheless, remaining in a mindset of victimhood does no one any good. One consideration for climbing out from under that baggage is to try and see the entire picture. 

For now, let us look at the (non-accidental) victim-makers. 

Who are these people?

They pick on those who are powerless to fight back.  Physical size, financial wealth, threatening behavior, prestige, and emotional powerplays are some of the tools victim-makers use to exert their power. 

When a victim is a child, physically weaker, or trusts, he or she is more vulnerable.  Victims who cannot buy protection, and who do not have fame or any other means of garnering support, are prey.  Victim-makers freely use both fear and love like weapons.  

Why then, believe what they told you to believe?  They are liars and manipulators with selfish motives.  Think about it. Messages from such sources are not trustworthy. 

Ask yourself, what do victim-makers get out of your personal pain? Do they want you, or is it something else they seek? Did they gain money, power, or control when they victimized you? Were they narcissists, liars, pathological criminals, or were they forced by someone else to hurt you? 

The seven questions throughout this post that I am asking you to consider will help you to see beyond what you presently believe about yourself as a victim. It may be difficult to rethink your beliefs about victim-makers who are loved ones.  However, once you challenge those messengers who taught you that you are nothing but a victim or worth little,  you will have more power to decide for yourself.  What if they were wrong? 

In part two, we will look at victims.  

Today’s Helpful Word

2 Corinthians 5:17 

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.


NOTE:  I am not a doctor or mental health professional, and speak only from personal experiences and observations. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or for a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. (for international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!























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