Is it Really Okay for a Christian to Say “No, I Cannot Help You”? (Part 3)

Compassionate Love: Displaying Compassion for Those Who Struggle with Mental Illness   (c)2019 Nancy Virden, Always The Fight Ministries

two man hiking on snow mountain
Photo by Flo Maderebner on

Saying yes to our and God’s priorities, means saying no to extra service opportunities that take up our time and resources. This is not to say we never help or become involved! In the last two posts and today’s, I show you that love practices boundaries.

Godly boundaries focus on what God has already asked of us. This leads to a life balance in which we can glorify God with peace, joy, and freedom in Christ.

1. Aren’t boundaries selfish? I’m supposed to be focusing on others. Boundaries are godly because they allow us to be who God wants. God blesses us with individual purposes. If we say yes to gain approval from humans, we may become co-dependent or a doormat. Living for someone’s happiness means we are not living to please God. We will not develop into the person he designed.

God also blesses us with individual purposes

Jesus refused distractions. In the end, he was able to say to our Heavenly Father, “I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do” (John 17:4).

2. If I do not do help, who will?  Boundaries are godly because they allow others to step up and grow. In light of individual purposes, by taking on too much we may interfere with growth opportunities for another Christian. Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 12:6, “There are different kinds of working, but in all of  them and in everyone it is the same God at work.”

3, I want people to know they can count on me. How do boundaries fit in?  Boundaries are godly because people need to depend on the Lord. By playing savior and trying to fix people or their problems, we deny them the learning process we all need to grow in faith. We have this declaration, “I am at rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I will never be shaken” (Psalm 62:1,2.

Today’s Helpful Word  

Proverbs 3:5-6

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him (our agendas and daily schedules), and he will make your paths straight.”


NOTE:  I am not a doctor or mental health professional. I speak only from personal experiences with and observations of mental and behavioral health challenges.  In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

If you are struggling emotionally today or feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or for a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S.  (for international emergency numbers, go here ), or go to your nearest emergency room. Do not be alone. Hope and help are yours.



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