By Nancy Virden (c)2026 AlwaysTheFight.com
Boundaries are about what we will allow into our lives. Boundaries cannot control another person; boundaries are gates we open or close.
Abusers, manipulators, and others who take advantage of our patience or compliance do not need more of our submission. It is not necessarily kind to help someone destroy themselves or us.
We have all heard of self-care. No doubt you have seen memes urging you to put yourself first. Surely, the ones shouting this message are not intending to encourage narcissists to continue in their selfish ways. Self-care is about healthy boundaries.
When someone takes and takes, often ungratefully, we can fall into the trap of thinking they need us to survive or function. This is not likely true. What is our cost in continuing to support their irrational or irresponsible behaviors? Self-care puts focus where it needs to be: on our mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health.
I gladly gave money to a woman in the middle of a divorce to help out. Then she decided to accuse me of stealing money I did not owe her! With eyes both open, I lent her some more, certain I would never get it back. Sure enough, it threw fuel on her irrational fire, and she claimed it was not enough. How dare I lend her so little? Her angry name-calling emails were ridiculous, and I ended the relationship completely by refusing to read them and letting her know it.
I can look back and see where my boundaries were crossed- by me! Although willingly helping someone is not wrong, I could have ended her pestering sooner. You see, boundaries are not always easy to execute.
In the next post, I will open all our eyes to a sure-fire way to maintain boundaries and keep them in perspective. Stay tuned.
-COMMENTS WELCOME
Today’s Helpful Word
Psalm 40:8
I take joy in doing your will, my God, for your instructions are written on my heart.
If you are feeling suicidal or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S., call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.
If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room; in the EU, call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here.) Hope and help are yours!
Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair.
NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.
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