By Nancy Virden (c)2026

I’m studying to earn my Ohio Life Insurance license. I have to laugh because some insurance terminology is interchangeable with mental health! For example, we occasionally must deal with difficult people. As persons who are pursuing mental stability, these connections can be stressful, triggering, and anxiety-producing. Our options are similar to lowering the risk of loss with insurance.

Avoidance- We lower our risk of loss by staying clear of what causes loss. To protect our health and property, we don’t play with matches, run in traffic, or run with bulls, either. Similarly, we can avoid our awful neighbor in many cases.

Reduction- We reduce our risk of loss by changing our choices. Perhaps with health in mind, we stop bungee jumping, or lose weight, exercise more, or stop chasing tornadoes! With an unpleasant neighbor, consider what has worked in the past, or what might work to lessen tensions and make this connection more tolerable.

Retention- Risk retention includes self-insurance, such as when we choose to take financial responsibility before insurance pays. There is no obligation to place a claim. With a difficult neighbor, we can refuse to make a case out of an offense, too.

Sharing- Sharing risk of loss with others is how insurance works. A large group of people in similar risk categories pays premiums, and then the collected money is used to pay for claims. We benefit from sharing the risk. A nasty neighbor can also be “shared”. Talk to other neighbors in the vicinity to strategize a positive plan for handling challenges brought on by the difficult one. Talk to supportive friends and family (maybe a therapist) to lower your stress.

Transfer- We transfer our risk to the insurance company. They cover the losses we may incur. Transferring our troubles with an obnoxious neighbor may include calling in professionals. If you have tried every positive option and this neighbor is violating your rights, in extreme cases, it may be time to call law enforcement. Another way to transfer this problem is to involve a mediator. Suing to recoup losses may also be necessary.

God’s love – Extending mercy toward others involves holding them accountable for their wrongdoings. The Bible says to do this with love as your primary motive. Threatening, bellowing, cussing out, retaliating, lying, and enabling are unproductive ways to deal with a challenging neighbor. God’s way, which is sincere love and deep interest in our neighbor’s welfare, will make our tone gentle and filled with wisdom. A conversation or action like this will at least clear the air and maybe soften their heart.

Perhaps your cranky, obnoxious, nincompoop neighbor will grow to become a friend.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Matthew 22: 36-40

 “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”

 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

If you are feeling suicidal or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S., call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room; in the EU, call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here.) Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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