By Nancy Virden (c)2025

Fact #1: We each have emotional and psychological needs.

Fact #2: Not everyone wants to help or knows how to help.

What is a person to do who dares to ask for help and receives what feels like a kick in the gut instead? Can we be prepared for this, and how?

Here are some key strategies to help protect yourself from negative responses when expressing your emotional and psychological needs:

1. Place your trust in the right source. Is the one to whom you are turning able, psychologically or emotionally, to offer trustworthy help? Are they immature or clueless, narcissistic, or controlling? What stigmas do they believe? Experts may take the form of professionals in mental health care, such as psychiatrists (MDs), psychologists (PHD or PsyD), or some social workers who know strategies and answers that you do not. They probably know what questions you could be asking that will lead you forward. Some pastors know that the scriptures are authoritative and can speak to the spiritual components of your need.
2. Do not ask a committee when you can choose someone who can help. Telling all your friends, the church board, or co-workers, or other multiples invites all kinds of voices to offer advice, make decisions for you, spread gossip, negatively influence each other, and more. Find someone who shares (or at least will not contradict) your values and, at least temporarily, keep it between you.
3. Assume no one knows how to perfectly help. Do not assume a rescuer will come when you have told enough people. Do not blame your assumed rescuer for not being one.
4. Accept responsibility for meeting your own needs. Do your research, weigh pros and cons, interview therapists until you find one you like, and do not procrastinate until you are in crisis mode. If you are already in crisis mode, call 911 (USA) or go to your nearest emergency room and insist on seeing a psychiatrist.
5. Do not return for help to people who never understood your need for it.

Do you have other ideas or stories to tell? -COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Psalm 119:1-8

 Joyful are people of integrity,
    who follow the instructions of the Lord.
Joyful are those who obey his laws
    and search for him with all their hearts.
 They do not compromise with evil,
    and they walk only in his paths.
 You have charged us
    to keep your commandments carefully.
Oh, that my actions would consistently
    reflect your decrees!
 Then I will not be ashamed
    when I compare my life with your commands.
As I learn your righteous regulations,
    I will thank you by living as I should!
 I will obey your decrees.
    Please don’t give up on me!

If you are feeling suicidal or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S., call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room; in the EU, call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here.) Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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