By Nancy Virden (c)2025

Isolation. It can feel good, especially when there is no one in particular you want to see. On the one hand, it gets tiring being the only one in a friendship who makes the invites and writes the texts; that gets old after a few years.

Friendliness, once my trademark, has taken a backseat in the past five years to isolation. My personality has changed. I am more comfortable by myself, and it has become more difficult to find reasons to be in public. In trying to figure out if I’ve entered a self-pity party or if my reasons are valid, I’m remembering something a nurse told me years ago when I was in the ER for depression:

“Don’t chase people who are not chasing you.”

I have extended family and old friends who never initiate conversation with me. Then, a new acquaintance recently falsely accused me of stealing money when I was trying to help her out. A blessing is my two best friends from childhood. We still keep in touch.

Sometimes I think I am too damaged and will never be able to trust people. Fear and disappointment have characterized many interpersonal connections, and it is tiring. Am I being unreasonable to want to avoid people? Interaction has become this heavy weight that keeps me tense and alone.

Then I remember Who loves me. I am one of God’s adopted daughters, and as a disciple of Christ, I am never alone. This does not erase the discomfort of human interaction, but it does give me the strength to walk one more day in integrity.

As age and illness change how I exist in the world, I am decidedly less happy. Many other seniors feel their joy slipping as circumstances change beyond their control and desires. I am not new to depression, and hopefully, that is not what is happening. I need to get up and go and be with people; it would be nice to do it with someone who is chasing me.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Mark 12:33

To love [God] with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.”

brackets mine

If you are feeling suicidal or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S., call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room; in the EU, call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here.) Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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