By Nancy Virden (c)2025

The view is dark and you see no reason to believe in change. You question your worth and if any good can come of your life. At this point, you may think that no one will miss you or they will get over your death quickly. You may feel everyone else will be better off if you are gone.

Ask: Who is this that will not care? Are you certain you will not leave a legacy of pain and questioning? Everyone I have ever met who has lost someone to suicide continues to bear guilt and wonders for the rest of their life what they could have done to help.

Siblings and friends may copycat your suicide believing they want to be with you. Copycat suicides are not rare. Even strangers will see your suicide as a type of “permission” to follow through on dark thoughts.

Your children will carry this burden forever. They will never understand why you left them. Even if you leave behind an explanation, it will never make sense to them that you chose to go away. As adults, they will doubt their ability to parent because they are afraid to be like you – fearful they might abandon their own.

People left behind will question their worth and judgment. The pain they will feel will not ease quickly; they will ponder this forever. There will be no closure because the “why” will never end.

Ask: What do you know of your future? Right now perhaps the future looks hopeless. It seems there has been too much pain with only more pain to come. Losses have multiplied and you do not want to face more of the same. People by the millions who have survived suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts say the same thing after the darkness has lifted: “I’m glad I did not die.”

Why would they say that? Because they discovered hope was not gone after all. It was only covered in darkness temporarily. Hope can and will return. You will have a second (or hundredth) chance at life. I know this about you and am certain of it. The outcome for those who feel as you do and choose life is positive and educational.

Ask: What do I need to know? It takes patience, listening to the professionals, and hard work to return and create a better life. I had to decide whether to keep suicide in my back pocket as an option or to dismiss it altogether. Motivation took a while and healing took longer. Nonetheless, fourteen years later I am glad I chose to stay alive. Actually, my initial decision was to learn what enjoying life means.

That’s why you need patience. The professionals have a skill you need right now. Follow their lead and take hold of your health. The hard work includes staying alive when you do not want to; taking small steps forward each day or week; changing your negative thoughts to hopeful ones; and taking medications as prescribed if needed.

Not everyone will react to your efforts with support. You are your own reason for walking toward hope. There is One who is always on your side. His name is Jesus. He faced suicidal and escapism temptations too. He understands you and how your brain works and He knows the plan he created only for you.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 to followers of Christ Jesus

 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.  And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying…

If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. In the EU call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional, and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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