By Nancy Virden (c)2024

A sense of worthlessness pervades your every move. You feel it in bed, as you walk, and when you talk. Negative self-talk comes from core beliefs about yourself and the world. Right now you see darkness ahead, nothingness, or so many potential losses that you know the pain will be too much.

You hurt so badly it is overwhelming. Emotional anguish is at its peak. It is enough to stay in bed and to hide from society and the people you care about most. If you are still going to work, depression clouds your judgment, and maybe you are irritable or physically slow.

Has real or false guilt dropped rocks into your soul and weighed you down? Has a lack of love devastated your sense of self? Have people failed you repeatedly?

Take it from me who has been where you are. I believed my failed marriage and emotional pain were guarantees for the future. From my view at the time, purpose was gone, value was gone, love was a myth, and there was no hope for change. Only losses filled my future.

This was not self-pity; it was depression. Depression is a mood disorder which simply means it has gone beyond fixing without help. No bootstrap will lift your spirits, and no willpower will make you well. Prayers will remind you that God has not abandoned you in this trial. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually you are ill because your brain is shutting down its normal stabilizing functions.

Help that works likely includes medication, even short-term. A therapist can ensure you are safe and guide you into discovering what went wrong and how to manage it. No one will rescue you by making you feel good. Healing is a process and it is hard work.

Suicide is never an answer. All you want is for the pain to go away, but wouldn’t it be great if you lived and learned how to enjoy life? Suicide ends all hope; but while you breathe hope exists.

I came to the end of myself and learned to trust experts and God to guide me out of the blackness. I know true joy and the love of God which is unending. My marriage is over and other deep losses have indeed come. I face them with peace and a quiet sense of personal worth.

Please stay alive. You don’t want to end up brain dead or maimed or permanently scarred. You are too important to God and other people to leave a legacy of suicide. Others may copy you- especially family members. It does not honor God or yourself to die by suicide. Living in the strength and hope HE provides, does.

If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, or for a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room and tell them. In the EU call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Psalm 30:2-4

O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you restored my health. You brought me up from the grave, O Lord. You kept me from falling into the pit of death. Sing to the Lord, all you godly ones! Praise his holy name.

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional, and speaks only from personal experience and observations. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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