Compassionate Love: Displaying Compassion for Those Who Struggle with Mental Illness   (c)2019 Nancy Virden, Always The Fight Ministries

When someone speaks of a friend or loved one who is currently struggling with depression, what follows most often is, “I’ll leave them alone. They need their space.”

To me, that may be the saddest myth about emotional stress. Depression is the number one common denominator across all human suffering. Very few people want to be left alone in the midst of that kind of pain.

The question left for supports is, how do I let this person know I care without getting in over my head? Here are three categories from which to choose.

Include the person with depression whenever possible, but do not expect him or her to keep up right away. 

Your Great BIG List of Great Small Ideas

You have more time and energy to spare:

• offer to find a doctor or therapist; take them to first visit
• laundry/ housework help 
• mow the lawn, shovel the snow, plant flowers
• offer or arrange childcare 
• give kids/youth rides to school/events
• help with a move
• help with a holiday – decorating, cooking…
• meet regularly for Bible study
• start a neighborhood Bible Study
• organize a meal train
• rides to doctor/therapist appointments 
• read aloud and finish a book
• help with taxes, budgeting
• show the ropes in legal affairs
• go to the bank for or with, and other errands
• take time to study and learn about someone’s specific issue

You have less time and room for change in your routine:

• phone calls, snail mail
• food. material, or financial donations
• visit in the hospital
• gather and offer resources
• invite this person to join you in your day’s plans
• take a lonely person with you grocery shopping, out to a sale, or an exhibition
• wash a car or take it to the car wash
• ask good questions, actively listen
• offer an invitation to join your family for dinner
• change a flat tire
• play a video game together online
• watch a pet
• drop off a meal/dish
• invite to your favorite sporting event or your son’s little league game
• watch tv together
• grab a coffee together

You have little time and energy to spare:

• encourage mutual friends to participate
• send flowers or a fruit basket with a nice note
• give a small yet thoughtful gift
• pick up packages off the porch for safe-keeping
• leave an encouraging note  
• collect the mail
• messenger, texts, social media, emails
• cell phone calls on the run
• pray, let this person know you are praying.
• make those small connections if your paths cross. “I’m glad to see you.”
• touch (with their permission- a hug, pat on the back, squeeze an arm)
• make eye contact, smile, shake a hand warmly
• inquire about his or her feelings and day. Tell about your day.

Today’s Helpful Word