By Nancy Virden (c)2026 AlwaysTheFight.com

In part one, we read about intrusive trauma symptoms. Today, we look at avoidance trauma symptoms.

TRAUMA RESPONSES

One can refuse to think about the trauma and anything connected to it. Blanking out memories, putting off thinking about it, avoiding feelings and emotive terminology, keeping a distance from people, places, and things that could serve as reminders. This can be one form of denial. Out of sight, out of mind may seem comfortable; nevertheless, our emotions have to come out somewhere.

Avoidance can lead to withdrawal. Hiding in one’s bedroom or office is a possibility, as is keeping walls up in close relationships. Not talking about what is troubling us can lock us in an invisible wrestling match with people who want to love us well.

Withdrawing could show up in relationship hopping. No need to get close to anyone if no romance or friendship has a chance to deepen or grow.

Another form of avoidance is substance use. Drinking to escape, taking drugs for the same reason, or smoking marijuana prevents us from taking the time to sort through our feelings and thoughts. They numb us to the pain we are denying.

From experience, I can say it is better to feel better. Getting there is painful work, yet worth it. To breathe freer, knowing there was nothing I could have done differently or better, recognizing the source of pain is outside of myself, is a relief. Then, naming the real causes of my trauma (including anything I need to forgive myself for) leads to the ability to forgive knowledgeably and wisely, not endorsing wrongdoing, but setting myself free from anger and thoughts of revenge.

It is worth the effort (and cost) to unravel trauma and avoid the topic no more. Relationships can be richer and deeper in ways perhaps never imagined.

Avoidance is based on fear. Freedom from fear is to shake off all the chains that hold you back.

QUESTION

What might you try to move past your trauma?

Complete this sentence: I can______

Repeat it building on the 1st: I can ______

Finally, make a quaity decision: I will ______

EXAMPLE

One example is: I can talk to a professional and give up trying to do this on my own.

I can share honestly what I am feeling even though I’m scared.

I will make an appointment.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Psalm 18:25-30

To the faithful you show yourself faithful;
    to those with integrity you show integrity.
 To the pure you show yourself pure,
    but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd.
 You rescue the humble,
    but you humiliate the proud.
 You light a lamp for me.
    The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness.
In your strength I can crush an army;
    with my God I can scale any wall.

God’s way is perfect.
    All the Lord’s promises prove true.
    He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.

If you are feeling suicidal or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S., call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room; in the EU, call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here.) Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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