By Nancy Virden (c)2026
I was not in my right mind. Anyone who lives with a diagnosed mental health disorder can tell you about this shared experience. “Diagnosed” is important because millions of people who refuse to see a psychiatrist or therapist due to denial, unawareness, finances, or stigma walk around each day not in their right mind.
Determined as I was to end the pain, that is, my life, which was self-diagnosed as too overwhelming, irrationality had overtaken common sense months earlier. Under a manic spell, I went off all psychiatric medications cold turkey. Depression began creeping in, and undiagnosed bipolar disorder mood shifts blinded me to what was happening.
Full crisis mode is not the best time to seek help, and when I did, help proved too little too late. Three suicide attempts later, I was at the lowest point anyone can fall.
My life was meaningless, right? I was not sure that life in general was not meaningless. By surviving, I had simply protracted the problem. Pain was inside, outside, and all I could see or feel.
I WAS WRONG
Many major losses have occurred since then, causing their own flavors of pain: Betrayal and divorce; two major moves; my dad’s death; cancer; two rare diseases; current homeboundness; financial hardship; social losses; continuing mental health battles and diagnoses; failure (which only happens when one has tried); most recently, the loss of independence; and perhaps the worst – 6 months when my son would not speak to me in 2014.
Some of these and other losses not mentioned, I still deal with every day. Several are long past. Perhaps you are thinking, “Great, so life continues to hurt.”
Yes, life is full of struggles, and that’s not the whole story.
Through each dark experience, I have been enveloped in undying love from God. Even when it has been difficult to feel, the evidence of his care is clear.
He gave me a song as I left the divorce lawyer’s office. He stood with me in court, revealing the circus in which my husband, his lawyer, and the magistrate followed a script demeaning my 35 years as a wife. While learning to manage new logistical and financial challenges, He guided me by the Holy Spirit to make good, independent decisions.
One day, I was mending a woman’s coat. She was being nasty, but I had such a sweet experience in God’s presence that I don’t even mind that she didn’t pay.
As for mental health: Whenever depression kicks in, God reminds me of purpose. Remembering the symptoms and recalling specific outcomes helps to balance impulsivity with common sense. Prayer is where I must go before making decisions. Sometimes, I must pray for days because dividing between what feels right and what is right is challenging.
This is a proactive effort. My motivation to calm the bipolar cycle is twofold: I never want to be a suicide statistic, and I want to be productive. These are ways I can honor God, which is important to me.
I want people to know, especially those who are at the end of their own strength, that God’s love does not disappoint. It is never a violation. God’s love does not take advantage of us or use us against our will. God’s love is tender, kind, peaceful, hopeful, protective, wise, caring, cherishing, and unending. He created us for life with Him, and that for eternity.
This life is not the only one, and if for that reason alone, losses do not have to defeat us.
-COMMENTS WELCOME
Today’s Helpful Word
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit
If you are feeling suicidal or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S., call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.
If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room; in the EU, call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here.) Hope and help are yours!
Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair.
NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.
HOLY BIBLE, NEW LIVING TRANSLATION, COPYRIGHT © 1996, 2004, 2015 BY TYNDALE HOUSE FOUNDATION. USED BY PERMISSION OF TYNDALE HOUSE PUBLISHERS, INC., CAROL STREAM, ILLINOIS 60188, PER BIBLE GATEWAY. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. RETRIEVED FROM HTTPS://WWW.BIBLEGATEWAY.COM/
Always the Fight 