By Nancy Virden (c)2026

In the third century, the Roman Emperor Claudius II banned all marriages and engagements. His military was dwindling in numbers because soldiers were expected to serve for at least 25 years. Many young men were unwilling to leave their beloveds and families behind.

A priest named Valentinus secretly married soldiers to their betrothed against Claudius’s orders. Valentinus was executed on February 14 around the year 269. In the fifth century, Pope Gelasius declared February 14 as the day to honor Valentinus’ courage.

That is why we see stores full of ‘Valentine’ cards, candy hearts, heart-shaped candy boxes, and little cupids. The sanctity of marriage and the celebration of families became commercialized into fantastical ideas of romance. Similar to Santa Claus, unrecognizably representing St. Nicholas, St. Valentinus’ message of marital love is under fire.

We do better when we are not alone. Married couples live longer, and children whose mothers and fathers are married and living together fare better in school and life. A legacy of love through difficult times is a source of pride and gratitude in the next generation.

Our mental health is disturbed by break-ups, rejection, loss of family ties, and loneliness. That is not to say that every marriage is healthy. I know firsthand that relationships may be toxic or abusive. However, I am unwilling to blame the institution of marriage; it is the toxic and abusive persons who ruin it.

Many marriages are redeemable, especially when both spouses are invested. Turning to Jesus is a big step; so is counseling. Vowing to each other to stay true is the foundation of trust. God gives the strength and power to remain faithful. Marital love is satisfying.

Unfortunately, living together without legal support is common. It leaves an easy out, and the couple unwilling to “sign papers” is more vulnerable. That is true with or without a religious understanding of sex outside of marriage.

The Bible (which comes from the authority of God) commends marriage and discourages divorce. It is flat against sex outside of marriage and claims we are violating each other and the godly order when we show no restraint. The world, in an attempt to rationalize its choices, claims that virginity and faithfulness are foolishness. Those who have lived lives of more self-control will tell you otherwise. They’ve escaped the scars, memories, comparison issues, and the regrets of someone who has not held themselves back and later marries.

Marriage is good. Commitment is good. These two things build strong families, healthier minds, and a powerful next generation.

Happy St. Valentine’s Day!

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

1 Corinthians 7:1-3

Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs.

If you are feeling suicidal or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S., call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room; in the EU, call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here.) Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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