By Nancy Virden (c)2026

Elderly people sometimes give up their independence and quit driving because their nerves, vision, or hearing have diminished too much. They become unsafe, not only for themselves, but also for others on the road.

A friend’s brother was out of work and in rehabilitation for many months following being hit and dragged by an elderly woman’s car in a parking lot. She got confused and went the wrong way, apparently also unable to stop in time, if she had even seen him at all.

A therapist once referred to a 64-year-old relative, calling her “elderly.” That shocked me then. I was 50. Now, I am 64.

There has been a world of changes in those fourteen years. This blog has recorded much of it. On the surface, a reader can see my mental health recovery, divorce, moves, diagnosed physical diseases, and increasing disability, not to mention major upheavals in other relationships, ongoing emotional challenges, and financial hits. I do not pity myself; in fact, I am grateful for the tireless grace of God and for all the ways he has protected me.

My eyesight grows increasingly unfocused and fuzzy. Depth perception is a joke. This is likely in part due to Sjögren’s syndrome, which can affect all organs. Slight double vision, a relic from brain surgery 37 years ago, is less manageable. My nerves and roadway judgment are suffering. Since Christmas Eve, I have flattened three tires and broken one side mirror, each in a separate situation. I’m hitting holes I do not see, climbing curbs, and hugging telephone poles.

On Saturday, I got stuck in the snow while attempting to turn around. A Good Samaritan-type appeared behind me seconds after I asked God for a rescue. On the way home, I realized another tire was flattening. That is when I made the decision that had been roiling in the back of my mind for weeks; it was time to quit driving before I hurt my car, someone else’s car, or a person.

At 64.

It is too soon to be called elderly. And way too soon to lose my independence. But here we are.

I sold my beautiful, red, 2018 Sentra with 23,000 miles today. Serviced every year, in perfect condition except for the side mirror, my car is gone. I will cancel insurance and Triple-A this week. I’m permanently grounded.

Is there a positive? Yes. Because of the money I will save, and hopefully I will succeed in earning my Ohio insurance license, I can hire a driver for necessary rides. I’ve always wanted a driver! That will be new fun.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Ecclesiastes 12:1-7

Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say, “Life is not pleasant anymore.” Remember him before the light of the sun, moon, and stars is dim to your old eyes, and rain clouds continually darken your sky. Remember him before your legs—the guards of your house—start to tremble; and before your shoulders—the strong men—stoop. Remember him before your teeth—your few remaining servants—stop grinding; and before your eyes—the women looking through the windows—see dimly.

Remember him before the door to life’s opportunities is closed and the sound of work fades. Now you rise at the first chirping of the birds, but then all their sounds will grow faint. Remember him before you become fearful of falling and worry about danger in the streets; before your hair turns white like an almond tree in bloom, and you drag along without energy like a dying grasshopper, and the caperberry no longer inspires sexual desire. Remember him before you near the grave, your everlasting home, when the mourners will weep at your funeral. Yes, remember your Creator now while you are young, before the silver cord of life snaps and the golden bowl is broken. Don’t wait until the water jar is smashed at the spring and the pulley is broken at the well. For then the dust will return to the earth, and the spirit will return to God who gave it.

If you are feeling suicidal or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S., call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room; in the EU, call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here.) Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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