By Nancy Virden (c)2026

I could barely lift my head to face my therapist as I confessed. I had relapsed, and it felt awful.

A building pressure had led to a moment of utter stress and overwhelm, and I had resorted to an old behavior that rushed endorphins to my brain and with them, relief. It had been so long that I had forgotten how brief that feeling was, and a few minutes after, I was engulfed in shame.

The therapist was quiet at first as I sat silently beating myself up for such failure. Then he told me to give myself grace for being human. I thought God loves and forgives humans. He asked me what I was getting out of being so hard on myself. Nothing good. Then he gave me a new title.

“Instead of Nancy who failed, how about Nancy who shows up?”

Generally, I have shown up despite how I feel or what I believe about myself. It had been a difficult year; nonetheless, I had completed my obligations and met the needs of others who counted on me. In this case, I had shown up for therapy and confessed, which is the powerful thing to do. It had taken courage; hiding is so much more relaxing, but I was determined to be completely honest.

“I showed up today,” I whispered.

“Yes, and what else can you show up for today that is positive?” He encouraged me to remember the cardinal rule for living: One Day At A Time.

“I can bring a table up from downstairs,” I suggested. This, as opposed to hiding in my room, was a good idea that did not require nervous decision-making.

So, I did. I had enough energy left to bring up a chair, too. The rest time that followed was sweet as I spent time with God and forgave myself. For three days, I did little, but showed up each day to accomplish something. The guilt and shame left me. The overwhelm lifted. As I moved about at a snail’s pace, within a week, the emotional energy to face more grew. I got my tires fixed after three weeks of procrastination. Taking huge steps toward finishing the remodel of my bedroom led to an art project. Finding solutions, praying for guidance, all at a reasonable pace, finally led me to show up for a job interview- where I was hired!

This could have been horrendous. I could have fallen into the pit again and stayed there a long time. Instead of writing, I could be staring at walls and barely eating. Shame could have paralyzed me into despair.

Except I got a new title.

Nancy Who Shows Up will begin again, counting the days of recovery. Day one. Day two. Day twenty-two, and on we go.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Isaiah 62:4 (a promise to a city by the same God who promises us renewal)

Never again will you be called “The Forsaken City” or “The Desolate Land.” Your new name will be “The City of God’s Delight” and “The Bride of God,” for the Lord delights in you and will claim you as his bride.

If you are feeling suicidal or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S., call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room; in the EU, call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here.) Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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