By Nancy Virden (c)2025

It was surprising to learn that I had some control over my emotions. Firstly, I did not recognize them and misunderstood what they meant. Anger was covered by depression, paralyzing anxiety was perceived as laziness, and hypermania seemed like enthusiasm. I couldn’t admit to feeling much, anyway, and berated myself nearly constantly for doing so.

Control? That was out of my imagination’s reach. I had limited my choices to a few self-righteous behaviors that masqueraded as control over my emotions. It was wrong to feel, wrong to show feelings, and guilt swamped me each time I broke the self-made rules.

My children were not used as ego-proppers or substitute friends. Loving them has been the most unconfined relationship I’ve known. Being with them did not erase deep-seated fear, dread, or anger about life in general, however. These all turned inward into self-destruction.

The Learning Curve

Fast forward to 2025, with years of therapy and medical treatment under my belt. Because I learned about emotional resilience (a new concept to me at the time) and my responsibility for my own well-being (I was used to blaming), I put into practice key skills for interrupting the depressive cycle of bipolar disorder.

These, and skills for anxiety and more, are scattered throughout thirteen years’ worth of blog posts here at Always The Fight. You can find several of them in my free book, How the Difference-maker Lifts You Above Depressive Thoughts. My online emotional resiliency class, Living Grace for Mental Health (restarts on January 11, 2026), is also available for free.

The Key

The key to gaining and maintaining mental health is to discover what you can and cannot control. Take ownership of what you can learn to control, such as thoughts you choose to dwell on (emotions follow our thinking), negative versus positive behaviors, and seeking treatment, to name a few.

Ignore what you cannot control. This includes, among other things, random thoughts that pop into your head, the future, the past, outside events, and other people. Jesus said, in Matthew 6:27, “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?”

Mental Health is complex and elusive for some. Give yourself a break and allow yourself to be human. We must not give up hope. Remember to live only one day at a time, and do whatever small, manageable bits you can to improve your mental health.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Matthew 6:33-34

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”

If you are feeling suicidal or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S., call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room; in the EU, call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here.) Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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