By Nancy Virden (c)2025

Do you know someone who is recovering from trauma?

You are not to blame when someone around you is triggered by your words or actions. Unless you are trying to be mean and forcing a negative reaction, you are not responsible for how others feel.

Different and unpredictable situations may trigger a person’s difficult memories. For some of these, a flashback throws them back into those negative circumstances where it feels as if it is happening again. You can imagine that if one were harmed in some way, a flashback would disturb them.

You cannot prevent triggers or flashbacks from occurring in someone else. However, there are ways to speak life into the moment if you choose.

1. Be patient. Do not be angry with them; they are not playacting. Post-traumatic stress is real and painful.
2. Empathize, knowing that it makes sense to react as they are given their exact circumstances and sensitivities.
3. Be self-controlled. Avoid being triggered by their behavior or words. Keep your response calm, firm, soft, and collected. Two people reacting with strong emotions does not help anyone.
4. Speak of the present in positive terms. “It is 2025. We are in the store shopping for socks. No one is hurting you. It is safe here.”
5. Remind them of their power. “You are an adult; you are not a child anymore (or not powerless anymore)”.
6. Do not touch. In a flashback, a touch can seem invasive, rather than comforting. Avoid touching without current permission.
7. Keep pointing out the present in a soft voice until they return to the here and now. You can mention the day’s plans, family, weather, etc.
8. Afterward, do not scold or criticize them in any tone of voice! Praise them for getting through it.
9. Respectfully introduce the idea of professional help if they have not yet found it.
10. Pray with or for them. God has brought them to the present time when no one is hurting them anymore. Jesus loves them and will get them through in the future. Remind them of these truths.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Proverbs 16:23-25

From a wise mind comes wise speech;
    the words of the wise are persuasive.

 Kind words are like honey—
    sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.

If you are feeling suicidal or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S., call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room; in the EU, call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here.) Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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