By Nancy Virden (c)2025

The first blatant in-my-face rejection due to openly discussing my mental health challenge happened when a friend said, “I’m afraid of you. People who attempt suicide might go off at any time and physically harm other people”.

The thought of harming other people does not cross my mind and never has, despite suicidal experiences. Harming others is not my fantasy, wish, or goal. Revenge is not a consideration because I hope to honor God, which revenge never accomplishes.

Besides, she missed the most obvious point. Suicidal people turn on themselves, not others. People who harm others and then kill themselves are homicidal. There is a huge difference; her comment falsely accused me.

Since choosing to go public with my mental health story, for fourteen years, stigma has surrounded me, mixed in like a dark dye in a kettle of white. No matter how much I write, some people will not read for understanding. How easy it is to think Oh, she’s off her rocker, when I do or say anything that fails to fit in with another person’s idea of appropriate. Instead of talking to me, people may make assumptions and judge.

Let me give you a recent example. I asked a busy person if they were capable or willing to offer their skill for the benefit of a friend and me. Knowing how busy this person is, my intention was not to request a favor, but to inquire whether they can do this sort of thing. My friend and I asked the same of several people with that skill set.

Perhaps I was unclear and it read differently than intended. This person was offended that I would dare ask such a question, ran to a third person to flare up about my perceived inappropriateness, and caused this third party to question my current mental health!

Whaat?

All this person needed to do was answer my question. A simple no would have sufficed; I wasn’t begging. Ah, stigma is a fierce bite made worse when it comes from someone you thought would offer the benefit of the doubt and talk to you. But no, I had to be “ill” for asking.

I’m in forgiving mode. It is not easy. However, I believe I’ve had a healthy yet harsh glimpse at reality in a world of stigma. This was one straw too many because I had expected kindness and respect. For as long as I have known these people, I have not been unreasonable or “inappropriate.” This hidden stigma was revealed out of the blue as yet another misunderstanding was being worked out. I am so disappointed; this nearly broke my spirit. I’m sad, but this too shall pass. With but one motive for sharing my story, I will not quit trying to reach out to others who are lost in emotional pain.

You see, readers, when you, audience members, or class group attendees tell me that something I have said or done has encouraged you, everything is worth it. The price is never too high. Thank you from my heart if you are one of those people. I deeply care about you.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

God’s order:

Matthew 18:15: “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense.

Matthew 18:21-22 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”

 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!”

If you are feeling suicidal or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S., call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room; in the EU, call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here.) Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

_{HOLY BIBLE, NEW LIVING TRANSLATION, COPYRIGHT © 1996, 2004, 2015 BY TYNDALE HOUSE FOUNDATION. USED BY PERMISSION OF TYNDALE HOUSE PUBLISHERS, INC., CAROL STREAM, ILLINOIS 60188, PER BIBLE GATEWAY. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. RETRIEVED FROM HTTPS://WWW.BIBLEGATEWAY.COM/}