By Nancy Virden (c)2025

The answer is not positive thinking, otherwise also known as denying reality. (Example: “It is not raining and I will prove it by standing here without an umbrella and getting wet. Oh, see? It stopped raining because I said so. The power of positive thinking!”) In some Christian faith circles, it is sometimes called name-it-claim-it. It is nothing but positive thinking disguised as faith.

The answer is not ignoring the problem until it goes away (This is my personal favorite). Time does not heal all wounds, and not all wounds are healed quickly. When it seems the air has left your lungs and all you thought was true about your relationship, family, career, dream, place in the world, and purpose goes off the rails, it is appropriate to take care of your mental health.

1. Learn to acknowledge reality. This can take a while. Let it, and keep striving for it.
2. Learn to accept reality. This may be a grieving process that flows in and out, appearing fine one moment and then hitting you again. That is normal. Allow it and press forward at your pace.
3. Live in your new normal until it is not the only option anymore. There will be a period of time when shock, disbelief, anger, numbness, and self-loathing may play roles in your daily thinking. Recognize these as normal reactions to pain and betrayal. Do not sell your identity to this highest bidder; it is telling you lies. You are not worthless or stupid or a sucker. You believed when someone or something had a different plan for you. Trust is the higher form of human interaction. You did not fail! They or “it” did.
4. Begin to look for the next right thing. You may want to change careers, go to school, start a family, read the Bible, or join a Bible study. Perhaps you want to create a fresh start somewhere, remove reminders, or bid farewell to not-so-trustworthy friends. Whatever you choose, take your time.
5. Your purpose did not die. God does not make mistakes and mercifully forgives all of ours when we ask. Turn to him for direction. Commit or recommit your life to living for Jesus; he will never fail you. The toughest paths are where we learn the most if we listen to His divine will as taught in the Holy Bible.
6. Be open to seeking help, but you must ask for it. Psychologists (PhD or PsyD) do talk therapy, while psychiatrists (MD) deal only with medicine. Start with the therapist who will recommend a medical specialist if necessary.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Zephaniah 3:17 (prophecy to a nation which had lost everything).

“For the Lord your God is living among you.
    He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
    With his love, he will calm all your fears.
    He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

If you are feeling suicidal or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S., call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room; in the EU, call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here.) Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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