By Nancy Virden (c)2025

Breaking chains of anxiety can feel like a game of power, a tug of war between your best self and your anxiety. You win some but lose some. There are ways to win more often, but it will not happen by force.

Genuine fear with evidential reasons can be a strong indicator to pay attention. Irrational anxiety is usually based merely on rumors, thoughts, and imaginations. There are multiple causes of anxiety, and we are not always in control of it.

The following list of what not to do includes suggestions many (including me) have found helpful.

1. Smoke or take Pot, marijuana, cannabis, THC, or CBD. While some people report a temporary calming effect, a large percentage of people say it worsens their anxiety. Dosage and frequency, among other factors, can make seemingly positive results turn ugly, increasing the chances of addiction and creating more anxiety over the long term. The same is true of THC (one of the major ingredients in cannabis) in any form, and CBD (a second major ingredient) does not last long. Besides, this is avoidant behavior. The usage of such uncontrolled substances does not teach personal responsibility and management over anxiety, which offer the real success story.
2. Ruminate. Going over what causes your anxiety will not open new ideas. Instead, it will feed the anxiety. Trying to scold your way out of the problem (such as: I shouldn’t be anxious, I’m a failure, everyone else can do this) will, on the surface, solidify your irrational reasons for anxiety.
3. Try to not focus on what makes you anxious. What seems to be an opposite action is, in reality, the same as ruminating. Simply trying to steer your thoughts from anxious ones is one way to keep thinking about them. The goal is to switch out thoughts altogether.
4. Stay home. Act opposite of how you feel. Let’s say you have decided to not attend an event. Go somewhere, anyway. Get dressed and sit in your car. Drive past the event. Drive within a mile of it. No obligation to go inside, only go somewhere, even to the store. The anxiety that kept you from getting ready is now defeated. You can take it from there.
5. Stay the same. Anxious about meeting someone new? Juice the muscles by learning small talk tips in the safety of home. Study up on new cultural subjects that may be of interest to people. Sports, books, TV shows, movies, and music are appropriate topics. Politics, religion, and some social issues are usually no-nos unless you know someone well.
6. Stay stuck in the unknown. Fearful of going to new places? An early visit to the place means it is no longer new. Visit on your terms before an event. Zoom in on a map app and see where you will park and where to enter. Ask someone who has gone before to describe it or maybe give you a tour. “Drive” the way there on Google Maps or a similar online navigation tool, where you can see the streets and exits.
7. Ignore it. Anxiety will not go away by willpower, force, or neglect. Proactively collect supportive things to keep around the house, in your car, at your office, or anywhere you may need them. Calm requires mental focus away from what causes anxiety, so find something that requires your 100% attention and do this to avoid or get through tough moments. The distracting project does not need to be serious, only handy. I do word searches while some draw, cook, repair, or read. Keep soothing memories and words at the ready.
8. Ignore all the best grounding ideas. There are many skills (here, here, here) involving breathing, experiencing your senses, and much more that will interrupt anxiety and prevent panic attacks and dysfunction. The success of their use depends on the actor. Learn to ground your mind and heart.

If you haven’t yet, turn your life and will over to Jesus and ask God for help. He is profoundly interested in teaching you peace of mind. Professional treatment can help you make progress. Talking with a mental health provider may lead to insights and keys to freedom that perhaps you have not considered.

No one promises an instant cure, but taking steps will make a big difference over time. More wins develop with practice. Anxiety will not be overtaken by force, but the more you prepare yourself for it, the more wins you will experience.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Psalm 103: 1-5

Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name.
Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me.
He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases.
He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies.
He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!

If you are feeling suicidal or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S., call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room; in the EU, call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here.) Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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