By Nancy Virden (c)2025

The preacher said, “If you have negative people in your life, get away from them. You do not need that toxicity in your life.”

It sounded too simple. What if that negativity came from your boss? What if that toxic person is part of your family? What then?

Giving up a little peace for the sake of harmony or a paycheck makes sense. No one is perfect after all. However, if you are losing yourself, suffering after-effects (PTSD), experiencing depressive symptoms, or hating that person, it is time to make a drastic change.

1. If it is safe, speak to the person. Make your needs known. Use “I” statements and explain how their behavior hurts you. Ask them to change. If they have complaints against you, consider them realistically. Were they false accusations or exaggerations? Maybe the toxic person is trying to shift the blame.
2. Do a risk-benefit analysis or a pros and cons list. Seeing this on paper can reveal the weight of the problem. Just how seriously are you affected?
3. Reach out for support. If you have been harmed by this relationship, talking to a professional therapist may help you discover insights and options. Friends can tell if your demeanor is changing. Pastors may be able to share Jesus’ example of boundaries and self-care.
4. Make alternative plans. Is a compromise possible? Can you block a number or refuse an invitation? Can you make an ultimatum? (Be prepared to follow through). Have a plan ready for when you decide to say, “no more”.
5. Take control. Hang up, don’t attend, quit your job, move out, escape, don’t engage, compromise (such as visiting a parent 2x a year versus each month), or have no contact at all. Whatever you decide, take control for your sake.
6. Save yourself. If the other person needs help also, let that be their issue until you heal and they change for good.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

(One example of dealing with toxic people) 1 Timothy 6:20,21

 Timothy, guard what God has entrusted to you. Avoid godless, foolish discussions with those who oppose you with their so-called knowledge.  Some people have wandered from the faith by following such foolishness.

If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. In the EU call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional, and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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