By Nancy Virden (c)2025

Strong, powerful emotions are never wrong to feel. Situations do not demand a particular emotional response. Emotions and moods respond to change, perceived threats, loss, advantages, pleasant events, and suffering. They change all the time.

Emotion feels; thoughts interpret. In a moment of peace, a person may think, I am happy and calm right now, but an hour ago I was wrecked. How can I be ok? This person may realize she is present with her favorite people or doing what she enjoys. That’s why I am happy! Negatively, she may think, I shouldn’t be happy, and guilt will rise. Conversely, she could decide, It is fine that I am having a nice moment and her emotions will follow suit.

Your thoughts will bring on an emotion but thinking is not the emotion itself. If you have “crazy” thoughts it does not mean you are losing your mind. Unwanted emotions are not our dictators. Angry thoughts do not make us sinister. If you prefer to feel better, choose thoughts that lift your mood.

Outside observers will best understand your emotional reactions that are timely and appropriate. Our emotion has no timeframe, however, our behavior in response to them can seem fitting or not. This is one reason I teach emotional resilience.

Emotional resiliency is maintaining decorum, protecting ourselves from panic and temper flares, and keeping calm in stressful moments. We select alternative thoughts (as opposed to concentrating on the situation) to control our emotions. Sometimes I am awed by the professional fortitude some people maintain while dealing with the general public. Reputation, trustworthiness, relationships, health, and success or lack thereof are each affected by how we choose those alternative thoughts and practice emotional resilience.

Results will vary between two men who feel exhausted and frustrated: One thinks, “I’m tired of it, been cheated, nothing is going right. I am a failure.” The other thinks, “I put in a hard day’s work and am proud of myself for sticking it out.” Which man is more likely to be pleasant and ready to spend time with his family?

It can help to ascertain and name your emotions. This gives you a platform from which to decide what is appropriate behavior. For example, if I am afraid and tempted to lash out in anger, recognizing my fear provides an escape from the knee-jerk anger and allows me to figure out why I am so anxious. That fear can now be addressed and no one is hurt.

A thought is only a thought. An emotion is merely a feeling. Both are under your management.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Psalm 13:3-6

Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!
    Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.
Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, “We have defeated him!”
    Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall.

 But I trust in your unfailing love.
    I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
 I will sing to the Lord
    because he is good to me.

If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. In the EU call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional, and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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