By Nancy Virden (c)2025

Recently I read C. Jung’s quote, “Thinking is difficult; that is why most people judge.” It can be frustrating and aggravating to fall victim to the assumptions and judgments of someone who does not care to check the facts.

Assumptions are mere guesses, often misguided shots in the dark. Why do that? Why verbalize these knowing one can’t back it up? Are people who do this unafraid of embarrassment?

My theories are based on experience both as an occasional assumer and a regular thinker. Here is how to ask quality questions and get to the facts.

Action 1. Go to the source. Our interpretations of situations and habitual thoughts mostly determine what we perceive as true. If you want to know if Joe is mad at someone, skip passing on gossip that Joe is angry and ask him. Otherwise, it is none of your business.

Action 2. Look at other sources. How did you hear about a matter? Is the source reliable? Are they mature and healthy-minded folk with no interest in lying, or are they psychologically able to tell the truth? Do they have a history of being suspect? Ask a person where they got the information. Is their source believable? Tracing sources back one will find many are not to be trusted out of hand. Do the sources have credentials and perhaps most of all, are they willing to put their name to what they say?

Action 3. Offer the benefit of the doubt. Our court system is based on this. The idea is that an accused person is innocent until found guilty without a shadow of a doubt. Can you do the same? How easy it is to believe a person’s best intentions! Accepting that someone’s mistake is due to extenuating circumstances shows mercy, which God loves. Ask, how have I behaved like that person? What do I want others to do for me when I am wrong? Your answer will be “to be shown mercy” or “to believe the best of me”.

Want better mental health? Do that for others. Want to honor God? Rejoice in the truth.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Proverbs 10:8

The wise are glad to be instructed, but babbling fools fall flat on their faces.

Leviticus 19:15-17

Do not twist justice in legal matters … Always judge people fairly.

Do not spread slanderous gossip among your people...

Do not nurse hatred in your heart for any of your relatives. Confront people directly so you will not be held guilty for their sin.

If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. In the EU call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional, and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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