By Nancy Virden 2024

A man with a crooked chair took it apart and rebuilt it straight. A surgeon broke a woman’s crooked jaw and set it straight. A crooked cat walked a crooked path… Okay, you get the gist.

It took some time to create the negative mindset that you now want to change, and rebuilding will take effort. It can be fun, though. I am currently using these steps to reshape an attitude problem. If diligent, it will work well in a shorter period than one may expect.

1. Pay Attention: You must pay attention to your automatic negative thoughts. You may be so used to them that they no longer stand out. Start noticing and perhaps ask people around you to point it out when it shows.
2. Replace negative words: I remember thinking, “Nancy, you did it wrong again. Figures.” However, I did many things right that day! My decision to focus on the mistake was damaging. By replacing the word figures and naming what I got right, emotional pain lifted a little bit. I was probably more pleasant to be around, too. Imagine thinking “Uncle Joe is a loser and will ruin Thanksgiving.” Replacing words could sound like “Uncle Joe will probably drink too much and I will find a way to make Thanksgiving good anyway.” Now, instead of dread, you have an active mind looking for ways to make it work.
3. Switch out letters: If I thought, “Nancy, you are so stupid” or “Mom is too difficult,” I started taking the first letter of the negative word and switching it to a positive word that began with the same letter. Negative self-talk changed to fun and games searching for an alternative. It was challenging! “So stupid” became self-motivated, smart, or a specialist in creative arts. The answers were goofy at times and laughable. “Mom is too difficult” became Mom is tops in dominoes.
4. Believe the unbelievable. If, at first, it seems impossible because positive words do not fit well, remember the new words are to be true. Do not exaggerate. Search for words that speak reality even if they feel uncomfortable.
5. Persevere: The more you do this, the more it will change your negativity to something more lighthearted. In 2012 it took only a few weeks to change my lifetime of negative self-talk into automatic affirmations. Amazing.

Amaze yourself for Thanksgiving Day 2024!

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. In the EU call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional, and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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