By Nancy Virden (c)2024

It is okay to need someone. I used to think it was selfish or lack of strength to need another person. From that backward point of view, encouragement from the outside was rare because I wouldn’t let it in.

As the one in need, one must remember there is no savior but Jesus. Humans will let us down, not out of selfishness, but because mortals are not omnipotent mind-readers with limitless energy. In desperation, one may think a rescue is merited and demand it from those around. Yet we are responsible for getting our own needs met.

The difference between needing someone to help and demanding rescue is four-fold.

Healthy Need

A) We recognize the person we need cannot do it all and has the right to their freedom from our troubles. Giving our helpers space is respectful – something I had trouble understanding in a crisis. We must honor the boundaries of anyone who is trying to help.

B) We learn what we actually need. A therapist can help with this discovery; as can prayer. As a disciple of Jesus, I asked the Holy Spirit to lead me to the truth of my experiences and emotions. So can you. Godly professional helpers taught me to uncover what was missing.

C) We must give up any claim to instant gratification and relief. Our demands only frustrate us more when people do not help as we believe they ought. Instead, accept that healing can take time. Blaming people for letting you down wastes energy and weighs heavily.

D) We must acknowledge that we do not know how to function perfectly. No one does. Be a student of experts psychologically, medically, and spiritually. Seek a psychologist who may recommend a psychiatrist (an MD) and talk to a mature believer in Christ who understands. Read the Bible and qualified information about your concerns.

When you say you need me, I will try to help but my best is not god-like. My humanity will interfere with my best intentions. When you sincerely tell God you need Him and are willing to do what He says, He will lead you to redemption and healing.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Romans 15:13

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, or for a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. In the EU call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional, and speaks only from personal experience and observations. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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