By Nancy Virden (c)2024

In America, we are so very uncomfortable talking about mental health issues when they come close to us. Abstractly spreading stigma (opinions without facts) is easy, but for any of us to share our ongoing sorrow, inner pain, struggle with darker thoughts, or fear of losing our minds, takes either desperation, bravery, or both.

People with serious depression often hide their feelings and symptoms. Isolation is common. To admit or display a mental disorder and then to be met with a common accusation is enough to discourage anyone from getting help. “You’re just seeking attention.”

What is that except a sour attempt to control the behavior of one whose behavior scares us? At risk of being Captain Obvious, of course an ill person is seeking attention! There is no minimizing that fact. Imagine being so hurt that one would seek attention by threatening suicide. It is not a normal reaction to life’s stressors, and a cry for help is not a weakness- it is desperation.

Respond instead with validation. “Your well-being matters to me; you are important to me.”

Accusations disgrace and humiliate a person who will, most likely, absorb the shame due to a temporarily low sense of worth. Build them up; do not tear them down. Put aside old beliefs based on judgemental attitudes and listen with love and understanding.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Romans 15:1-3

We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up. For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: “The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.”

If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, or for a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. In the EU call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional, and speaks only from personal experience and observations. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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