By Nancy Virden (c)2024
Moods come and go, but depression is a complex mental disorder. Called a “mood disorder”, depression is not a healthy state of mind.
Often we try to meet disorders with reason. Doesn’t it make sense that if a person could feel better, they would? Offering a demanding “Cheer up” is not helpful in the least. We must meet illness of any kind with understanding and validation.
“I’m here for you, and I’m listening” lets the person with depression know that you understand they are not suffering from a temporary mood that can be easily changed. Empathy and support are most effective.
This does not mean babying people with depression. If they are physically able, ask them to walk with you. Go with them if needed to help them keep doctor’s appointments. Encourage them lovingly to eat. Clean their room with them. Ultimately what they can do is up to them, but not being alone is a huge benefit.
Listen carefully when they talk- pay attention to any suicidal ideation such as “I do not matter anymore” and “Everyone would be better off if I were dead.” Instead of responding in fear, tell them what they mean to you and that you will help them through this. In an emergency, call 911.
As a Christian, I believe in prayer. Look for words of life in the Bible; talk about God’s love and Jesus’ salvation. A young man intended to kill himself when he met a woman who shared the gospel of hope with him on a beach of Lake Erie. He turned his life over to Jesus and now, a few weeks later, is thriving with purpose. Healing and recovery are not always that fast; be patient.
-COMMENTS WELCOME
Today’s Helpful Word
Psalm 103:1-4
Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion…
If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, or for a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.
If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. In the EU call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!
Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional, and speaks only from personal experience and observations. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.
HOLY BIBLE, NEW LIVING TRANSLATION, COPYRIGHT © 1996, 2004, 2015 BY TYNDALE HOUSE FOUNDATION. USED BY PERMISSION OF TYNDALE HOUSE PUBLISHERS, INC., CAROL STREAM, ILLINOIS 60188, PER BIBLE GATEWAY. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. RETRIEVED FROM HTTPS://WWW.BIBLEGATEWAY.COM/
Always the Fight 
This is great information on mental health. Thank you.
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A HUGE AMEN!!!! I couldn’t have said it better myself.
In the past, I lived many, many dark times, times of hopelessness and despair. Everyday I prayed that God would take me in my sleep. I had absolutely no desire to live. No one understood. At that time, I had lost friends and family. The people I reached out to, turned their back on me when I needed them the most. That only made things 100 times worse. No one wanted to be around me. I had very little support. It got so bad, it landed me in psych hospitals. I didn’t know who I was anymore.
The mental and emotional toll depression takes on a person’s state of mind is 110% Real. Those who don’t suffer with it have absolutely no idea the pain we suffer. My major depression stemmed from my past trauma and abuse I had buried my pain from the all inhumane and horrible abuse into the deepest pits of my soul for many years. I didn’t face it head on, when I should have. I wanted to move on with life. Hoping that would help and allow me to forget. But unfortunately, by not facing it head on, it came back to haunt me in the most unexpected way.
It was 2010 I had lost my grandmother who was like a mom to me. The only one in my family that loved me and accepted me for who I was. My adopted parents were not only drunks but my whole childhood they had treated me like a piece of property, and a slave. My adopted father treated me like his play toy. He had sexually abused me in every sick and twisted way, from the time I was 6 yrs old up until I was 19. (The year I got married) Not to mention all the horrible physical abuse I endured as well. My adopted mother would call me horrible names and blamed me for things that wasn’t even my fault. She was a severe drunk who loved her alcohol, more than she loved me. All of this isn’t even the icing on top of the cake. This is just the beginning of what led to my major depression later on in life.
But 2010 was the year I had completely lost it. I was at my wits end and tried taking my own life. At that time I couldn’t cope. The flash backs were horrid. The responsibility of taking care of my two girls, working, going to college, then losing my job, then, losing my grandmother was just too much for me. I felt I had lost a piece of my heart.
From 2010-2017 was the longest and worst 7 years of my life. I was in and out of psych hospitals and one state hospital for 7 long years. I was put on so many psych meds I didn’t know who I was anymore. They changed me in the worst ways I can’t even begin to explain. The side effects from all the psych meds I was on, were horrendous.
It wasn’t until 2018 that I finally began to recover. But that year I was diagnosed with gastroparesis. (Paralysis of the stomach) to be quite honest, if it weren’t for that, my life right now wouldn’t be what it is now. My gastroenterologist took me off all psych meds for a month because my stomach wasn’t functioning at all and I was losing too much weight, too fast. I was severely malnourished as well. So he had no other choice but to schedule me to have a gastric pacemaker surgery. It was either that or a feeding tube. That literally saved my life in ways I can’t even begin to explain.
After I had recovered from the surgery, my mental state of mind had drastically improved. I had done a complete 360! I began to enjoy living life again. There was no longer darkness. Those had rolled away and the sun began to shine.
Sorry this is so long. I just wanted to give you and other people an inside look of how horrid depression is from my perspective and from someone who greatly suffered from it. People who have never suffered from it, have absolutely no clue. It is a very real thing. It’s a life of hell.
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Sorry, this went to Spam for some unknown reason. Thanks for sharing!
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