By Nancy Virden (c)2023

Kay* ducked her head under her arms as if to protect it. Burying her face into the cement fireplace threshold, she looked smaller than her 20 years. She rocked while whispered moans rose from her throat and past.

“Kay, you are at Timberline Knolls, in the group room where you are safe. No one is dangerous here. This place is full of caring and supportive people who want what is best for you. You are safe,” I said.

Continuing like this with a calm voice, my sentences focused on the present. “It is 2013, you are an adult. You have power over your life. No one can hurt you anymore.”

After a few minutes, Kay lifted her head. The room was full of women now as it was time for our evening group meeting at the rehabilitation center. No one else had heard or seen what transpired. Kay sat up and joined the rest of us as if nothing had happened.

Flashbacks are tough. For many like Kay, flashbacks are not an on-purpose rehashing of history. They “flash” in and take over a person’s reality, shoving her back into the time and space where the trauma occurred. Telling someone in this state of mind to shake it off is useless and harmful. It adds shame and guilt to all the other emotions that come with PTSD such as fear and panic.

If you are with someone who is experiencing a flashback, bring him back gently. Let him know you are with him and he is safe. Talk about present surroundings and draw the person’s attention to what sounds and smells and sights are here now.

When it is over, go on as if it didn’t happen. Later, ask if you can help in any way. Let them know you are available to talk, but do not press it. Feeling safe is a vital part of trauma recovery, and that includes being safe from interrogation or another person’s control.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

*name has been changed

Today’s Helpful Word

Colossians 3:12

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, or for a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. In the EU call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional, and speaks only from personal experience and observations. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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