By Nancy Virden (c)2022
OK, so I’m going along at a reasonable pace and suddenly get hit with an idea. Perhaps it would have been best if that had knocked me out because more ideas came and I grabbed each one. Consequently, weeks were accompanied by a barrel of anxiety. Six recent days were bloated with fresh starts and firsts.
Two of the three (count them) Bible studies I am writing and teaching began the same week. Preparations tilted dangerously close to perfectionism, making what is fun a bit terrifying. Another idea was to schedule my first session with an unknown therapist in the same timeframe.
Circumstances also included a serious conversation with my sons, a loved one who had emergency heart surgery, and two friends who came down with Covid. I share a house with two women and a baby. (Think movie title.) The “baby” is now two and has recently discovered he can scream shrilly while banging a bedroom door back and forth across the hall from- you guessed it – my room.
Ah, but I didn’t mention the BIG idea – a return to school. As no doubt you suspect, yes, my classes began within those six days. As if that wasn’t enough, I ordered an elliptical, forcing me to rearrange my bedroom.
Earlier this week it was as if someone cut a hole in a toe. It literally felt like energy was draining from my body in a rush. I laid down and tried not to think except to ask God for help. Two friends contacted me out of the blue and lifted my spirits.
There is one more detail; not a minor one. Due to an allergic reaction, I had to stop taking a psychiatric medicine I’d used for 17 years. Cold turkey. As my psychiatrist and I get a new med arranged, symptoms of depression, mild mood swings, and worsening anxiety have begun to erase whole days. Obviously, my ability to function is intact, but I pray for this new medicine to stabilize what has become a bit wobbly.
I look at the lives of “normal” people, those who do not have to think about meds or concern themselves with taking on too much or becoming overwhelmed, and I see other types of problems. We are all the same. We need God’s love.
It is 4pm and I’m headed to bed, grateful for what I have and the strength God gives to me. I know for a fact this will all work out. Facing next week, having all the starts and firsts behind me makes a big peaceful difference.
Today’s Helpful Word
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, or for a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.
If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. In the EU call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!
Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional, and speaks only from personal experience and observations. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.
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