Change Your Marriage By Rejecting Porn

By Nancy Virden (c)2022

Accepting love means rejecting porn. You can’t love one person while fantasizing about others. It’s a simple fact that watching porn is cheating. Sharing your sexuality with a screen and desiring hundreds of naked strangers is not being loyal to your partner.

quote from #pornkillslove

9 years ago I wrote about pornography and the devastating effects it has on all of us whether we use it or not (those links are below). A new e-book confirms a 20-year-old prediction by Dr. Judith Reisman that porn causes some form of brain damage (link in the title below). Why ought we be concerned?

From Porn is rewiring your brain

  1. Watching porn decreases our sexual satisfaction.
  2. Watching porn disconnects us from real relationships.
  3. Watching porn lowers our view of women (and men, children, and self too- Nancy)
  4. Watching porn desensitizes us to cruelty.
  5. Watching porn makes us want to watch more porn.

Pornography use interferes with all intimate, not only the sexual, aspects of marriage. Trust is damaged when the porn user is sneaky, makes excuses, or even lies about the behavior. Respect is poisoned for both partners when the user insists the dissenting spouse is being unreasonable and the user is looked down upon for their unwillingness to quit. Blame flies around freely. Insecurities leading to porn use and caused by it tear apart the safe feeling that one should expect in marriage.

While some loud and prominent voices insist that pornography is innocent fun, unhappy and broken marriages expose reality. I once heard a male porn actor declare himself an “expert” on relationships. Wow, what ignorant audacity! As a person sold on the idea that porn is okay, he went on to promote infidelity because “sex means nothing.”

Unfortunately, some people lack enough truth that even he could sound reasonable to them. Having heard the excuses of porn users, I know they carry one common theme: “It is okay because ____________”. Almost anything can fill in that blank.

One of the most common fill-ins is blaming the spouse for failing to understand. Others include religion and addiction. One husband, after bold-face lying to his wife for decades, had the nerve to say she was not trying to make the marriage work!

Pornography is profoundly immoral and wicked. According to the definition, “wicked” is lewd, vulgar, obscene, shameless, degenerate, corrupt, and perverted. Nonetheless, even if society accepted all of that as normal or even good, pornography use is still sinful and evil. God said it is.

Some very surprised men heard Jesus expand one of the Ten Commandments, “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” to include what is akin to porn. He said, “But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” James 1:14-15 reads, “sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” Pornography use kills pleasure, relationships, and eventually one’s eternal soul.

Naturally, anyone who does not believe in God or take him seriously, will not care what Jesus or James said. Still, unhappy and broken marriages are profound evidence of pornography’s devastation. Do you want happiness between you and your spouse? Give up living in a fantasy theme park like an immature child and face your marriage with courage like a grown-up. Quit lying to yourself, others, and God.

You have a flesh and blood spouse with feelings, attitudes, opinions, and needs. It is your job to strive for what makes your union work well. Profound selfishness has no room in a productive marriage.

For more explanation see:

Is Watching Porn Emotional Abuse?

More: Is Watching Porn Emotional Abuse?

An Open Letter About Porn to Christian Husbands, Pastors, and Husbands-to-be

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Hebrews 13:4

Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.

How the Difference Maker Lifts You Above Depressive Thoughts (c)2020

If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or for a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. In the EU call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional, and speaks only from personal experience and observations. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

HOLY BIBLE, NEW LIVING TRANSLATION, COPYRIGHT © 1996, 2004, 2015 BY TYNDALE HOUSE FOUNDATION. USED BY PERMISSION OF TYNDALE HOUSE PUBLISHERS, INC., CAROL STREAM, ILLINOIS 60188, PER BIBLE GATEWAY. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. RETRIEVED FROM HTTPS://WWW.BIBLEGATEWAY.COM/

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