Frustration and Resilience

By Nancy Virden (c)2021

Today I tried to schedule a rental pick-up truck for my move. The first question on the online reservation form was about the date of the rental. Following that were pages of options, moving supplies, protection services, and the like. I filled it all out, added the payment method, and that is when it happened.

Do you know what the frustration might be? When I clicked on the final checkout, a notice appeared. “Select a valid date.” Turns out, only reservations within a set period of time are allowed. Did not they ask me that first? With no way to save the order (at least that I saw), I had to close out the entire transaction and will have to fill it out again later.

Bah humbug!

Of course, that is such a laughable “problem” it does not deserve to be called one. Frustrations can run much deeper with disappointing or painful relationships at Christmas time. A couple months ago while in the hospital, I set myself up for frustration by setting expectations for others without telling them. Brilliant, right? Yet we all do this from time to time.

It was the first day I had availability for visits or calls after 4 days there. Visitors were allowed on my floor and I had posted the room phone number on Facebook. In the morning I prepared myself for visitors. The phone sat near. By evening, my mood had sunk into a mire of self-pity because there had been no visits nor calls. (Later, I found out the number I had posted was incomplete and no one could get through. Also, potential visitors did not know the hospital had recently lifted its no-visitors rule on my floor.)

A nurse came by who asked me how I was doing. I told her. She knelt beside my bed and said, “I think everyone is entitled to a self-pity party now and then.” That cheered me! After some prayer, the bad mood lifted. It was, after all, built on unexpressed expectations and the false belief that everyone could read my mind.

This Christmas, tell people what you need and ask nicely for it. If you want to catch-up with Uncle John, let him know instead of being angry he didn’t sit with you. If Grandma offers to bring the same dish you already prepared to do, tell her and work it out. Don’t read into the situation that your wishes were ignored.

If your requests are not met, think about why. Were you clear? Are there extenuating circumstances? Frustrations will happen. We have a choice of how to handle them. -COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Psalm 5:3

In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice;
    in the morning I lay my requests before you
    and wait expectantly.

How the Difference Maker Lifts You Above Depressive Thoughts (c)2020

Stay at Home and Thrive! (c)2020

If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or for a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. In the EU call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional, and speaks only from personal experience and observations. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.


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