Always The Fight Ministries – Compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, and abuse. (c)2019 Nancy Virden
The past few days have been nearly sleepless. This is not because Sleep and I had a falling out. We are good friends, even if Sleep is more the fair-weather type.
The problem began several days ago when completion of a long-neglected portfolio kept me up for 36 hours. No one asked me to do that. It was my desire to make a good first impression. It was my decision to put that wish above reasonable choices. Looking at the clock and pushing through fatigue was my foolishness, no one else’s.
Once finished with the task, sleep was my only agenda for the next 24 hours. That was Friday. Over the weekend, marbles of good sense and good mood were lost. I stayed awake for another 48 hours from Sunday to Tuesday. This time, a sense of urgency had pushed me to improve the appearance of this website although it has remained basically the same for about seven years.
It is late Wednesday night again. Rather, it is early Thursday morning. Work of my own volition held back the writing of today’s blog post. Yes indeed, I’m a day late and at least one marble short.
History reflects the consequences of repeated periods of this maddening behavior. It is downright idiocy to continue. Yet somehow I’m coming to believe maybe I do not need sleep.
I’m not out of my right mind. Lack of sleep in itself is sharp enough to cut the cord from rational and critical thinking. The snowball effect of last week’s choice to skip one night’s sleep is escalating into the potential of costing my health. No positive first impression is worth that much.
It is 6:00 am. I’ve been awake since yesterday morning. There is so much to do today I wonder if only a few more hours of work…
No. I haven’t lost all my marbles yet. I’m finally going to bed to begin the process of recovery from the most recent episode of “I did it my way.”
Today’s Helpful Words
“(S)HE who dwells in the shelter of the Most High, will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.”
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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a mental health professional, and speak only from personal experiences and observations. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.
If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or for a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.
If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. (for international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!