If Only …. Then I Would Be Happy

Compassionate Love: Displaying Compassion for Those Who Struggle with Mental Illness or Abuse  (c)2019 Nancy Virden, Always The Fight Ministries

An unfortunate belief helps feed negativity and lack of productivity. It is simply this: something external must happen to make positivity possible.  

  • If only someone believed in me and supported my efforts – I’d finish a project.
  • If I won a million dollars – everything would be great.
  • If hiring managers recognized potential – I’d have a good job.
  • If only my parents had pushed me – I could be somebody.
  • If someone paid off my school loans – I’d have options.
  • If friends came around more I wouldn’t feel so isolated.

Reality is that rescue and strong support don’t come around often. Rarely do generous souls offer to pay off a person’s debts. Hiring managers generally want educated applicants, and when childhood is past there is no reason to linger on what might have been.

Most importantly, no one can read another’s mind. It is helpful to say what is needed.

I told my son I needed someone with whom to talk it through before daring to focus on art and trying to sell my work. He volunteered and had wise advice. Afterwards I expressed a need for motivation because I was paralyzed with doubt. He asked if his personal investment would be motive enough to begin.  It was, and two months later my apron is covered in paint and adhesive.

Anyone who wants change can speak of needs and wants.  Perhaps a supporter or two will respond. 

An isolated person can call friends and ask them to come over. 

School loans are difficult. However, there are second jobs, paying a little extra each month, or creating something to sell. 

The point is that we are in charge of our attitudes and responsibilities. External events cannot supply what is needed, and waiting for them is equal to setting life aside.

Today’s Helpful Word  

Proverbs 9:12

You are the one who will profit if you have wisdom, and if you reject it, you are the one who will suffer.


NOTE:  I am not a doctor or mental health professional, and speak only from personal experiences and observations. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or for a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. (for international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!







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