Closer Look At Domestic Abuse

Compassionate Love: Displaying Compassion for Those Who Struggle with Mental Illness   (c)2017 Donna Rogers, Guest Blogger

(Today’s infographic and article is from guest blogger Donna Rogers from

Stop Domestic Abuse

When a partner in an intimate relationship physically or emotionally abuses the other person, the activity is classified as domestic violence. Contrary to the commonplace belief, this abuse is not merely physical, but can also take the form of emotional and/or sexual torture. In either case, you need to look out for the signs of an abusive relationship and end it immediately before the aggression takes a greater shape.

What are the signs of physical and/or sexual abuse?

Physical or sexual abuse includes a series of highly aggressive activities like beating, pushing, slapping, biting, kicking and choking. In this abuse, your abuser is likely throw or break objects, punch the wall or kick the door during heated arguments, ruin your personal property, recklessly drive to make you feel uncomfortable, compel you to have sex against your wishes, keep you trapped in your home, deny to provide you the basic resources, prevent you from leaving the home, threaten to hurt you, hurt your pets, withhold your essential medication and even prevent you from getting in touch with the police. If your partner exhibits such behavioral traits do not ignore them and seek help immediately.

What are the signs of emotional abuse?

Very often we tend to overlook emotional abuse and do not take it seriously enough. But emotional abuse too is an equally relevant abuse, which can take an ugly shape if ignored for long. If your partner controls your daily activities, humiliates you, makes you feel intimidated, worthless, or wrong, constantly criticizes you, gets jealous without any valid reason, stops you to spend quality time with someone else, checks your phone calls, tracks your whereabouts, harasses you in arguments, controls your money, compels you to ask for money, uses your personal history to humiliate you, threatens to commit suicide if you leave him- it is high time you seek proper help, as these are some of the most common signs of emotional abuse.

What is the domestic violence cycle?

Yes. Domestic violence has a complete cycle which comprises of three phases. Here’s everything that you need to know about it.

The tension building phase- This is the very first phase where tension will build over some really common domestic issues like your daily chores, your lifestyle, money or your children. This is followed by verbal abuse. The victim might initially get intimidated and then try to bring the situation under control by trying to please their partner. However, this will not put an end to the violence; rather, the tension will reach its highest point eventually taking the shape of physical abuse.

Physical abuse- Physical abuse takes place when the domestic tension is at its highest peak. This abuse is triggered either by an external event or the emotional state of the abuser. The victim’s behavior has no role to play in this abuse. The physical abuse is usually unpredictable and is entirely beyond the control of the concerned victim.

Honeymoon phase- This is the phase where the abuser will apparently be ashamed of his behavior. He will try to apologize, express his remorse, reduce the violence and might even blame the entire episode on the victim. He will take genuine attempts to convince the victim by stating that the abuse will never take place again. This behavior will seemingly strengthen the relationship with your partner and assure you that leaving your partner is not necessary. But owing to this cycle, an abuser is going to behave the same way when they are suffering from a tumultuous emotional phase or are triggered by an external event.

Why do men abuse women?

Although there are instances where men too have been abused by women, usually the situation is other way round. Women have been mercilessly abused and tortured by men since time immemorial. Although no cause can justify domestic abuse, some of the probable reasons of this social malady might be self-esteem issues, extreme levels of jealousy, psychological disorders, problems in controlling anger and inferiority complex. Other men tend to abuse and violate women as they are driven by the opinion that women are inferior to men, and can thus be controlled. In most cases, however, men tend to abuse women because the idea of abuse had been normalized by the families where they have been raised.

Where can you find help?

If your partner exhibits abusive behavioral traits, do not overlook it. Consult a domestic violence hotline immediately. The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 can provide you with resources, information and advice 24/7. The hotline is available in 200 languages and for the hearing impaired.

Another option, if it is not safe for you to call you can use their online live chat service:

Furthermore, you read more about abusive relationships and how you can end them here.

The most important aspect here is to not suffer at the hands of a domestic abuser. There is help for you and your family, but you must take the first brave step!  —D.R.

Today’s Helpful Word

Proverbs 4:14-17

Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men.  Avoid it, do not go on it; turn from it and pass on.  For they cannot sleep unless they have caused trouble or vexation; their sleep is taken away unless they have caused someone to  fall.  For they eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence.



Comments are always welcome (see tab below).  NOTE: I am not a doctor or mental health professional. I speak only from personal experiences with and observations of mental illness. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental health care.

If you are struggling emotionally today or feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Hope and help can be yours.


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