By Nancy Virden (c)2025

Comfort zones. We all love them and few of us recognize how they may negatively affect our mental health.

Comfort zones are similar to inertia in that we resist change. Whether our comfort zone is on the couch in front of the TV, busying ourselves with work or a hobby, or simply disallowing information that clashes with our opinions, in our comfort zones we try to avoid change.

Brains are shocked and recharged by change. A brain has to – think- to embrace change. Our ability to think clearly and see a wider point of view has frozen in our repetitive choices.

Many of us living lives of faith have known for a long time that doing good for others feels good. A recent article by the American Psychological Association reports a scientific leaning toward the same conclusion. Physical health and mental health may be positively affected.

1. Small acts of kindness. Every little thing counts. A five-year-old took bananas from my groceries and placed them on the kitchen counter tonight. Small, yes, nonetheless meaningful. When one’s back hurts, hanging bananas on a rack is uncomfortable. Opening doors, taking a meal, and calling or texting someone you haven’t seen for a while are all kindnesses.
2. Recognize a need. Years ago when I had two babies and my husband was working two jobs, our lawn became unruly. I watched out the window as a retired neighbor carefully and meticulously manicured his lawn. For right or wrong, I thought, I wish he would do the basics for our lawn instead of obsessing over minutia blades of grass. People obsessed with helping may need to learn to relax, however, most of us need a push to be of service.
3. Prioritize your good sense. Healthy boundaries mean you set the times and level of volunteer help you are able and willing to do. If your son’s ballgame is tomorrow afternoon, do not help someone move at the same hour. If you had to work extra shifts this week and are falling off your feet, don’t serve at the annual charity dinner. Do your best to keep your word and supply a substitute if you cannot follow through. How is your emotional energy supply looking? Physical? If you cannot safely offer help, then do not. (No one in their right mind would ask me to help them move!)
4. Check your motives. It is fine to feel good after helping a person. That is a natural internal reward. If you are helping only out of obligation, the internal reward may not exist. By helping someone with a need only to feel good about yourself or to brag you are not changing your inner self. Do it anyway and correct your motives after. Stepping out of a comfort zone and serving another human (without expecting anything in return) can teach a positive lesson about living differently.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

James 3:17

But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.

If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. In the EU call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional, and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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