By Nancy Virden (c)2024

The greatest difficulty for anyone in mental health recovery is the lack of meaningful support. Significant friends and family members are often afraid and clueless about what to say or do to help.

It is also hard for us who are relearning how to think and how to be in the world to voice our needs because we may not know what will help. We tend to expect others to understand. We are not fully in the right mindset (yet) to reason it out. All we experience is our pain.

The easiest act in the world is all we need: noncritical acceptance and presence.

If you are watching a loved one struggling to function well due to bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, major depression, or for any other reason you are in a prime position to make a positive difference.

1.Be there. In-person visits may be a good idea yet are not always feasible. Texts, messages, e-mails, phone calls, snail-mail, FaceTime, and many other opportunities are ways of showing you care. Your presence in this way must be consistent as often as you wish; avoid making promises you will not keep. I have been the blessed receiver of cards, visits, and phone calls when I believed nothing else mattered.

Do not expect reasonable, friendly invitations and responses. Your loved one may say, “Leave me alone”. Please do not assume they need space. Reach out in non-invasive ways unless they seem to truly be aggravated. Often, people with a mood disorder believe they are not worthy of your time.

2. Refuse to criticize. Why expect your loved one to behave and talk as they did before? They are challenged and need help. Accept that their trouble is due to illness and stop trying to control it. No one in the throes of despair wants to hear how much they fail. No one with thoughts of suicide is helped by put-downs. No one can snap out of a mental health challenge, so do not ask your loved one to do so.

Understand that you do not understand. Allow people to heal as their bodies, professional treatment, and time do their best to restore health. Learn what you can about what they are suffering. Your patience may be tried, nevertheless, offer non-critical acceptance and presence.

-COMMENTS WELCOME

Today’s Helpful Word

Mark 10:45

:“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. In the EU call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair. 

NOTE: Nancy is not a doctor or a mental health professional, and speaks only from personal experience and observations. This website is not intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

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