Entitlement Destroys

By Nancy Virden (c)2020

Seth does not know how to feel happy. He blames God, his bosses, family, and church. Anger comes out in road rage, racism, and abuse at home.

Along with power and control, Seth’s obsession is entitlement. He depends on the cooperation of his targets to keep secrets, and demands it. Favorite tools toward this end include guilt, gaslighting, a love-not love revenge cycle, and threats.

Meanwhile, his family learns different ways to function (or not function) around his miserable behavior. His wife wastes hours, days, and years trying to rationalize how his love could look so much like hate. She convinces herself that he is a good man, so she must be the problem.

Their daughter is strong-willed and defiant. As a preteen she realizes her father is not willing to play with her as she’d like. For the next five years, she sits in front of the television with him, that being their only relationship.

The second child, a son, believes aloof and disinterested fathers are the norm. Seemingly without struggles, he sails through childhood happy and go-lucky.

Later, Seth’s adult children have different responses. The son cuts off all communication while the daughter sees their father occasionally, motivated by guilt. Having received little to nothing from their dad, they feel no obligation to pursue more. Nor do they miss him, only what should have been.

Seth wanted to have it all, family, people to love him, and self-respect. Instead he settled for the superficial kowtowing of a scared wife and neglected children. Tragic.

  • Do you have a sense of entitlement? Are you willing to seek counseling and do the work of dying to your fruitless dreams?
  • Unloved by a person with a sense of entitlement? Are you wiling to weigh, with God’s help, the purpose of this relationship?
  • Neglected by a person who feels entitled? Will you be your own person, end the legacy, and live a life of compassion?

Entitlement destroys. Like the fairytale of a self-absorbed king whose touch turned everything to gold and stole its purpose, entitlement offers golden dreams while killing any hope of love and fulfillment.

Today’s Helpful Word

James 4:6

“… Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

Always the Fight Ministries (ATFM) has been displaying compassion for those fighting mental illness, addiction, or abuse since 2012. Nancy is the founder and voice of ATFM and openly shares her emotional resurrection from despair.


NOTE: I am not a doctor or a mental health professional, and speak only from personal experiences and observations. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or for a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. In the EU call 112. (For other international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188, per BibLe Gateway. All rights reserved. Retrieved from https://www.biblegateway.com/

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