I’m Begging You to Hear Me! Please, I’m Dying Here

Compassionate Love: Displaying compassion for those who struggle with mental illness   (c)2015 Nancy Virdenphoto-24714726-young-man

Hold it all together. Don’t let anyone see you cry. 

Everyone seems happy, I wish I could be one of those people.
I’m different and no one knows.

I’m alone. Don’t know if I can hold on for much longer.

My screams are ignored, nobody hears me.  Now I see who really cares – no one. They’d be better off without me.  My life doesn’t matter.

Smile a little- can’t let anyone see you cry.

High school students hear a heartfelt message

One week ago today, three volunteers representing the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention stood in front of about fifty high schoolers and talked about depression and suicide. As one of those volunteers I had a few minutes to share my story and some typical thoughts anyone who is majorly depressed may have.

Our audience was exceptionally well-behaved (military boarding school), and fresh from saying goodbye to their families and friends back home. Everyone heard the message, it is OK to ask for help when you hurt.

But will they?

Two suicides and a threat 

Today, three of us offered a second presentation, this time to college-age students.  I introduced myself as a suicide attempt survivor, something never easy to admit.

A therapist reported that a friend’s family member died by suicide in the past week. A student-leader who works with school counselors to prevent suicide, said he would be attending his buddy’s funeral this afternoon- another suicide.   

I didn’t tell them how I’ve been locked in conversations with a suicidal loved one this whole week, trying to save a life.

Every 13 seconds, someone dies by suicide. Here in Pennsylvania, there are more suicides than homicides. Suicide is on the rise, and it’s main cause is untreated major depression.

Yet stigma remains intact, keeping us silent and ashamed, unhearing and uninformed, and dying for no good reason.

Hold it all together. Don’t let anyone see you cry. 

I’m alone. No one hears me. No one cares. 

No, no more screaming.

Don’t know if I will hold on much longer.


NOTE: I am not a doctor or mental health professional. I speak only from personal experiences with and observations of mental illness. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental health care.

If you are struggling emotionally today or feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Hope and help can be yours.

-pictures from Qualitystockphotos.com





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